IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possible, while others think that it should not start until 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

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The importance of
,
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apply
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 formal education
which
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, which
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 was
debatable
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debatable,
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 has now become more controversial with many people claiming that others reject
those
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that
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 notion.
the
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The
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 substantial influence of those
trend
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trends
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 has sparked
ther
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the
 controversy over the potential impact in recent
years
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. In my opinion,
The
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the
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 latter proposition appears to be more rational.
This
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 essay will
furter elaorate
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further elaborate
 my views
for favoring
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on favouring
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 those positive
impact
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impacts
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 and
thus
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. Analyzing the statement and explaining furter, still in early
years
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childrens
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 can learn some kind of
life
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 lessons , activities and can develop fine motor skills, thoses activities help kids to work independently without others help, one of the main underlying reason
this
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 is that, when early
years
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childrens
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 start their
school
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life
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 soon they can easily move to another new environment because they mind is so smooth and soft another striking benefit in
this
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 regard is that,
childrens
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 try to build friendship in eary ages, friendship through they can build lots of qualities for their
life
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, Categorically discussing, it cannot be ignored that the main reason behind
this
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 is that, Teachers provide them to eat alone, holding spoon correct way , disciplene those good mannars can improve when they go to the
school
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 in early
years
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. Probing ahead, one of the main underlying reason stems from the fact is that, When
children
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 start their
school
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life
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 in 7
years
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 it is a big pressure for the child's
life
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, quickly they cannot familiar with new environment moving furter it is pertinent to mention that, parents can protect and careing child but they cannot do the teacher's role, Teacher is one who help
childrens
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 to build their
life
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 with good attitudes and descipline,
Moreover
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, When
children
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 stay 7
years
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 with their parents in home background some
children
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 getting shy to face to others and when they go to the
school
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 some of student showing some kind of bad behavior. In conclusion,
children
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 should have
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school
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a school
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 environment when they are in early
years
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In
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. In
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 that
case
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case,
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 they can get more
life
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 lessons still in
eary
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early
 ages
,
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.
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 I believe that
aforementioned
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the aforementioned
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 points
are
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apply
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strongly
supporting
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support
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 my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. You talk more about early school, but the other side is very short.
task response
Give your opinion in a simple and direct way in the introduction and support it in each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use one clear main idea in each paragraph. Now many ideas are mixed in one long sentence.
task response
Add simple examples to support your ideas, such as a child learning to share or feeling stress at age 7.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a careful way, like first, also, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and make shorter sentences so your meaning is easier to follow.
task response
You give a clear opinion that starting school early is better.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
Most of your ideas are on the topic of children's school age.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Social interactions
  • Formative years
  • Curiosity
  • Structured environments
  • Preschool activities
  • Unstructured play
  • Developmental pace
  • Emotional and social skills
  • Undue stress and pressure
  • Natural development
  • Informal learning methods
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