IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Your friend from overseas is coming to visit you next month. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, •tell them what they need to bring •tell them what they will be doing during the time they are visiting •warn them about some things that might be challenging

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Dear Doane, I am very happy to know that you are visiting Calgary, Canada
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 the United States of America
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
next January. I want to tell you about
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 things you need to take care
before
Change preposition
of before
show examples
 visiting Calgary in
Use synonyms
Winter time
Correct determiner usage
the wintertime
show examples
. You need to bring
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
winter
Use synonyms
 jacket, body-thermals, gloves and
winter
Use synonyms
 shoes. I am sure it would be difficult to survive
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
winter
Use synonyms
 without suitable clothes. I will come to
pick-up
Replace the word
pick
 you guys
from
Verb problem
up from
show examples
Airport
Correct article usage
the airport
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, you need to stay at
arrival
Correct article usage
the arrival
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 gate number 12. We will go to Banff National Park
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of the best
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 to visit in Canada. We will do
Ice-sketing
Fix capitalization
ice-skating
show examples
 there. I want to prepare you mentally about the Canadian harsh
winter
Use synonyms
, especially, the temperature goes to negative 30 degrees
sometime
Rephrase
sometimes
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 in Calgary,
while
Linking Words
 we need to
careful
Verb problem
be careful
show examples
 on blacked-Ice which is
quick
Rephrase
very
show examples
 slippery. I can’t wait to meet you and explore the national park. Warm Regards, Jay

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task response
Task response: answer all parts with more clear detail. Say what to bring, what you will do, and what is hard in a more full way.
task response
Task response: keep the tone warm and natural. Some lines sound a bit too direct.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: use linking words like first, then, also, and because to make ideas flow better.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: check sentence order and keep one main idea in each part.
task response
Task response: you answered all three parts of the question.
task response
Task response: the letter has a clear friendly purpose.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: the letter has a clear opening, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: greeting and closing are both used well.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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