IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You recently attended a training course organised by your company, but you were not satisfied with some aspects of it. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: Explain why you attended the course Describe what you were not satisfied with Suggest what could be done to improve future courses

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Dear Manager,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 am
writting
Correct your spelling
writing
this
Linking Words
 letter because
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 attended a training
course
Use synonyms
 that the company oraganised, i was so excited to attended
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however
Punctuation problem
however,
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 when the
course
Use synonyms
 started
Punctuation problem
, i
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i feel
Wrong verb form
I felt
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 really bored with all tematic that the teacher was talking
,
Change preposition
about, beacuse
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beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 he just read all
pages
Correct article usage
the pages
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 from a
powerpoint
Fix capitalization
PowerPoint
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 presentation
, i
Punctuation problem
. I
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 was waiting
more
Change preposition
for more
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 details or
better
Correct article usage
a better
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explication
Correct your spelling
explanation
 in that
course
Use synonyms
.
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 would like to know
you
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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this
Linking Words
 aspects, maybe you can work on that and try to find a better option to make a good
presentations
Fix the agreement mistake
presentation
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 where everyone is
be
Verb problem
apply
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able to have a good participation in the
course
Use synonyms
.
thank
Fix capitalization
Thank
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 you so much,
i
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I
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 appreciated your help with
this
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 matter.

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task response
Say more clearly why you went to the course. For example, say it was for your work or to learn a new skill.
task response
Write about all bad parts with clear detail. You say the teacher only read slides, but you can add one more point about time, tasks, or help.
task response
Use a more polite tone for a letter to your manager. For example, use 'I would like to suggest' and 'I would be grateful if'.
coherence and cohesion
Put your ideas in a clear order: why you went, what was bad, and how to make it better.
coherence and cohesion
Start a new paragraph for each main idea. Now the ideas are mixed together.
coherence and cohesion
Use easy linking words like 'First', 'Also', 'Because of this', and 'In the future'.
task response
You answer the topic and write to your manager about the course.
task response
You give a real problem: the teacher only read from the slides.
task response
You give one idea to improve future courses: better presentations and more participation.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start and end.
coherence and cohesion
Most sentences are easy to follow.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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