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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the graph show the map of islip center. describe it

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The illustration depicts an
emptyer
Correct your spelling
empty
 islip's citie's
centre
Use synonyms
 at
this
Linking Words
 particular moment
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 significant future development plans.
Overall
Linking Words
, maps show publicly accessible facilities,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 bus station, car
park
Use synonyms
, shops,
park
Use synonyms
 and school.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
road
Use synonyms
 systems and path reconstruction
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as housing and new housing. Regarding the changes in facilities, shops that ware
besides
Linking Words
 the
road
Use synonyms
 were relocated
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the middle of the city's
centre
Use synonyms
. Bus station, shopping center and car
park
Use synonyms
 were built side by side in front of the shops.
Similary
Correct your spelling
Similarly
, new housing spaces were introduced in the same place near the car
park
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, school and housing, both did not relocate and stayed in the south
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, they were now accessible with the newly built
road
Use synonyms
 system. When taking a look at the gradually changed
road
Use synonyms
 systems, all buildings were put in the
centre
Use synonyms
 of a single roundabout.
In contrast
Linking Words
, it
now was
Correct word order
was now
show examples
 a dual carriageway. A
pedestrian only
Correct your spelling
pedestrian-only
 path was implemented above the shopping
centre
Use synonyms
,
streaching
Correct your spelling
stretching
 from east to west.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words centre, park, road with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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