IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. identify serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems

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Overpopulation
Use synonyms
 in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 is one of the controversial issues that individuals and
governments
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 should be concerned about. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will present the problems of
overpopulation
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along with
Linking Words
 solutions. First of all,
Concentration
Correct article usage
the concentration
show examples
 of population in urban
cities
Use synonyms
 occurs imbalance of region. For one thing, Large
cities
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 are more economically developed and provide more job opportunities.
This
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 is
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
 most companies are located in large
cities
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, which can lead
to
Correct determiner usage
the
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 younger generation to move to urban
areas
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.
As a result
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,
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 declines in other regions. Another serious
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
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 of an ever-growing
popultaion
Correct your spelling
population
 is the pressure on public services
such
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 as hospitals, schools and transportation systems. When the city populations grow too fast, these services face difficulties
of
Change preposition
in
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 demand. Like
this
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, the excessive growth of
urban
Correct article usage
the urban
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 population has some adverse aspects. When it comes to solutions, individuals and
governments
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 take
feasiblie steops
Correct your spelling
feasible steps
 to settle excess
popultaion
Correct your spelling
population
 in big
cities
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.
Linking Words
in
Fix capitalization
In
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 particular, they ought to relocate the headquarters of
company
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companies
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 and creates the jobs by supporting business and training programs. In light of the cultural problem, particularly in local
areas
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,
governments
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 should boost
curtual
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cultural
 and art industries and promote events.
Finally
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, as regards public services concerns from
overpopulations
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overpopulation
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,
governments
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 are supposed to invest more money in schools, healthcare and plan city growth better
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 citizens had better
to
Verb problem
apply
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follow public rules and use resources carefully. In conclusion, it is certain that the problems
by
Verb problem
caused by
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overpopulation
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 in urban
areas
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 are
fare-reaching
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far-reaching
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.
However
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, we
all can
Correct word order
can all
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 make the most of solutions together to resolve the difficulties of
overpopulation
Use synonyms

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You name problems and give some fixes, but some ideas are too short.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer main ideas in each body part. Start each part with one clear point, then explain it.
task response
Add one simple real example for a problem or a solution.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like first, also, as a result, and finally.
task response
Check that each solution matches one problem clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid sudden jumps between ideas. Group similar ideas in one part.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about both problems and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are used, such as first of all, as a result, and finally.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • housing pressure
  • high rent
  • low-cost homes
  • poor living conditions
  • city center
  • public transport
  • traffic jam
  • air pollution
  • crowded roads
  • waste time
  • harm health
  • bike lanes
  • car sharing
  • public services
  • healthcare system
  • school places
  • clean water
  • waste system
  • meet demand
  • city planning
  • unemployment
  • low-paid work
  • job training
  • community safety
  • use resources carefully
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