Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympics is a waste of maney and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In contemporary
society
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society,
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many individuals contend that
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Olympic
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the Olympic
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games
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Games
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are full of excitement and bring many
contries
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countries
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closer to each other.
Whereas
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others argue that
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Olympic
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the Olympic
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games
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Games
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are a waste of financial
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resourses
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resources
and the money spent on them could be put
in
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to
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better use. I unequivocally believe that
,
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the
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Olympic
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games
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Games
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are not a waste of time, because they give sport a meaning
and
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, and
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for many
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athletes
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athletes,
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it is a dream and a goal to compete in them.
Although
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second
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the second
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view raises
walid
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valid
concerns, I personally believe that
,
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the
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Olympic
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games
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Games
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are not as costly and would not significantly help in any kind of development.
Olympic
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games
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are the reason for the
athletes
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to train
substntialy
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substantially
harder and with more motivation.
This
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is because
,
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apply
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only the top one
percent
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per cent
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of the
athletes
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are capable of making it to the
Olympic
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games
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Games
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,
as well as
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the
Olympic
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games
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ar considered
as
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apply
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the final and largest competitions in the world where
sportists
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athletes
can compete.
In particular
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, if people set a goal for themselves to
achieve
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achieve,
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they are more likely to put in more work
in to
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into
honing their mentality and physical aspects
while
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training.
Consequently
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,
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Olympic
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the Olympic
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games
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Games
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are seen as the dream that pushes
athletes
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to
brake
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break
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barriers and achieve the most of what they can. Another key argument is that, even if
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Olympic
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the Olympic
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games
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Games
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are
canceled
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cancelled
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and will never happen again, it would not help
financaly
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financially
in any way possible.
Although
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Olympic
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the Olympic
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games
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Games
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are
preaghty
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pretty
costly, they
are happening
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happen
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only once
per
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every
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four years
,
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;
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therefore
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, throughout the period of time, there
is
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are
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not a lot of
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resourses
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resources
put
in
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into
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the competition
istself
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itself
.
For example
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, if they
would
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were to
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happen every
year
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year,
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it could become a
challange
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challenge
for the countries to finance them, particularly
,
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apply
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if a single country is hosting the event
simulatneously
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simultaneously
for the upcoming years.
As a result
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, if
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Olympic
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the Olympic
show examples
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games
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Games
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happened every
year
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year,
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it would become a financial risk, and only
then
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the
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could the resources
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resourses
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could be put
in a
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to
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better use. All things considered, I firmly
belive
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believe
that
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Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
Use synonyms
games
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Games
show examples
are not a waste
on
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of
show examples
money and time.
Although
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,
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apply
show examples
Olympic
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games
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are considerably costly, I believe that, only if they happened more frequently (once per year),
than
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apply
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they would be a
waist
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waste
show examples
of
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resourses
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resources
that could be put
in a
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to
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better
usage
Replace the word
use
.

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task response
Write both sides in a more equal way. Now your own view is much stronger than the other side.
task response
Give one clear example for each main idea. This will make your answer stronger.
task response
Some ideas are not fully clear, so explain them in a simpler and more direct way.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are used too much or in the wrong place. Use fewer, but use them well.
coherence and cohesion
A few sentences are long and hard to follow. Make them shorter and clearer.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion clearly.
task response
Your main position stays the same from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is split into clear paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Olympic games
  • exciting
  • events
  • nations
  • waste of money
  • spent
  • better
  • education
  • healthcare
  • friendship
  • unity
  • athletes
  • talents
  • international
  • hosting
  • boost
  • economy
  • tourism
  • creating
  • jobs
  • critics
  • debt
  • costs
  • inspire
  • young people
  • sports
  • healthier
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