IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some think that politicians should always be honest while others feel that there are times when they must lie. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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Most people believe that
politicians
Use synonyms
 should always tell the truth to the public,
while
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 others have a different point of view that sometimes,
due to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
confidentiality, they cannot share everything honestly. In my opinion, I support the idea that national leaders should mislead the public when necessary
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 in most cases, they should be truthful. It cannot be denied that decent belief from citizens toward the political system is essential for the stability and development of a country. Especially in today’s
world
Punctuation problem
world,
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 when the information can be shared and accessed easily from different sources,
politicians
Use synonyms
 are highly aware of the importance of information accuracy.
Hence
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, most of them choose to be straightforward and honest to gain accountability from society.
Furthermore
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, it is widely believed that citizens have the right to acknowledge what is happening in the country so that they can prepare themselves
as well as
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 share empathy
to
Change preposition
with
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 the government when any policy changes.
However
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, there are cases when deceiving the public would be the better decision for national leaders, especially when it comes to the country's security. Information
such
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 as military investment, strategies, troop movements
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 usually considered
as
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apply
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top secret
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 the nation to preserve advantages in border and sovereignty
defense
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defence
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.
Additionally
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, there is another area where
politicians
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 do not fully conceal the truth
is
Correct pronoun usage
, which is
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 diplomatic policies under negotiation.
This
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 is because complete transparency at
this
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 stage could undermine strategic interests and prevent both sides from reaching a workable agreement. In conclusion, since the public statements of national leaders are not only about themselves but may
also
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 make a huge impact on the public,
although
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 building public trust is a crucial job of
politicians
Use synonyms
, it is even more important for them to be selective and aware of when to distort the facts.

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task response
Write your opinion in a more clear way. Now, you say leaders should lie when needed, but this idea could be more direct from the start.
task response
Discuss both sides in a more equal way. The side about honesty is a bit more clear than the side about lying.
task response
Add one or two more specific examples. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Some ideas need clearer support. For example, explain more how public trust helps a country in real life.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care. Some parts are smooth, but a few sentences are long and hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Break long ideas into shorter sentences. This will help the reader follow your meaning more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main point and all sentences in it support that point.
task response
You answer both parts of the task and give your own opinion.
task response
Your main idea is clear in each body paragraph.
task response
You use relevant points about public trust, safety, and diplomacy.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well organized with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is logical and easy to see.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like 'Furthermore', 'However', and 'Additionally' well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • integrity
  • transparency
  • ethical dilemma
  • diplomatic tact
  • misinformation
  • public trust
  • social fabric
  • national security
  • pragmatic politics
  • democratic principles
  • accountability
  • role models
  • grey area
  • public perception
  • preventive secrecy
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