some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative developent?

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In contemporary

society

Add a comma

society,

show examples

many

adolescents

Use synonyms

tend to spend a rather large amount of their time on mobile phones.

This

Linking Words

is because of addictive algorithms that social

media

Use synonyms

has created

up on

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

date to keep individuals more engaged with the

content

Use synonyms

that they are interacting with. Another

crutial

Correct your spelling

crucial

aspect is that mobile

games

Use synonyms

are becoming more addictive and control

childrens

Check wording

children's

show examples

dopamine rushes. I unequivocally believe that spending countless hours on smartphones is affecting

Use synonyms

adolescents

Check wording

adolescents'

show examples

thinking and social acuity in a negative way. Social

media

Use synonyms

content

Use synonyms

is not random, its

algortihms

Correct your spelling

algorithms

are

analyzing

Change the spelling

analysing

show examples

every interaction that individuals make to create the perfect, addictive

content

Use synonyms

for each

individualy

Correct your spelling

individual

. Because of

this

Linking Words

people

Punctuation problem

, people

show examples

are more engaged in consuming substantially more

content

Use synonyms

that social

media

Use synonyms

offers.

For instance

Linking Words

, if the

content

Use synonyms

was not created to mirror

Use synonyms

adolescents intrests

Check wording

adolescents' interests

show examples

than

Use the right word

then

show examples

the adolescent would not engage with it as much.

As a result

Linking Words

adolescent would spend less time on their

phone

Use synonyms

Anothet

Correct your spelling

Another

key point is that not only

social

Correct word order

is social media's content

show examples

media

Use synonyms

content

Use synonyms

is addictive

Linking Words

also

Correct word choice

, but also

show examples

the mobile

games

Use synonyms

are.

This

Linking Words

is because of the dopamine

as well as

Linking Words

the

adrenalin

Replace the word

adrenaline

rushes that mobile

games

Use synonyms

have.

As a

Linking Words

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

making the

games

Use synonyms

as dangerous as an addictve supplements, but for

adolescents

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Moreover

Linking Words

game

Use synonyms

developers spend years

Change preposition

apply

show examples

creating the perfect reward system in their

games

Use synonyms

to keep the players more engaged in the gameplay, for

exmple

Correct your spelling

example

, seasonal

game

Use synonyms

events and leaderboards by

scroe

Correct your spelling

score

system.

Consequently

Linking Words

, making the

adolescents

Use synonyms

return to

paly

Correct your spelling

play

more frequently. I personally believe that spending countless hours on

Use synonyms

phone

Correct article usage

the phone

show examples

is not benefiting

adolescents

Use synonyms

in any way

posible

Correct your spelling

possible

. By

beeing

Correct your spelling

being

addicted to

Use synonyms

phone

Correct article usage

the phone

show examples

for many

years

Punctuation problem

years,

show examples

adolescents

Use synonyms

can start to isolate themselves from the outside world and

loose

Use the right word

lose

show examples

social and

comunication

Correct your spelling

communication

skills. All things considered,

phone

Use synonyms

's social

media

Use synonyms

apps have

costum

Correct your spelling

custom

algorithms that make

adolescents

Use synonyms

use their mobile devices more frequently.

Linking Words

Similarly

Add a comma

Similarly,

show examples

it is with mobile

games

Use synonyms

, when

game

Use synonyms

developers create considerably more addictive

games

Use synonyms

to keep

adolescents

Use synonyms

engaged in the

game

Use synonyms

. Regarding what

Fix capitalization

show examples

had previously said, I firmly believe that spending many hours daily on

Use synonyms

phone

Correct article usage

the phone

show examples

is affecting

Use synonyms

adolescents mind

Check wording

adolescents' minds

show examples

negatively

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

, as

show examples

well as

lowers

Wrong verb form

lowering

show examples

their social abilities, and

contributes

Wrong verb form

contributing

show examples

them negatively

Replace the word

their negative impact

emils.bomis

Apr 19, 2026

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task response

Answer both parts more fully. You explain why children use phones a lot, but your view on why this is bad needs one more clear effect.

task response

Use more clear examples. Your ideas about social media and games are good, but the support is still a bit general.

coherence cohesion

Keep one main idea in each body paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

Link ideas with simple clear words. Some lines are hard to follow because the grammar and word form are not clear.

coherence cohesion

Check paragraph flow. A few sentences repeat the same point, so the essay feels less smooth.

task response

You answer both questions in the task.

task response

Your opinion is clear from the start and stays the same to the end.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Main ideas are easy to see: social media, games, and bad effects.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

359 words

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some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative developent?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However,other people think that zoos are useful to protect the rare animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many scientists believe that seeking out life by sending messages into space is a good idea while others feel that it is dangerous. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?