IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Politicians'
Check wording
Politicians
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 have private
life
Use synonyms
 same as everyone
dose
Use the right word
else
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, which should not be publicly shared on print
media
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can put their lives at risk because many people are after them, and
this
Linking Words
 could probably lead to loss in national matters as well.
This
Linking Words
 essay strongly agrees with the statement. On one hand, Politicians are
also
Linking Words
 humans and have their personal space. If the newspaper
intent
Wrong verb form
intends
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 to disclose their non-public
life
Use synonyms
, their enemies can take advantage
for
Change preposition
of
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 that. There are large number of nationals and other proxies against them, because of their work
either
Punctuation problem
, either
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 they are doing excellent work in the interest of
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
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 or against.
For example
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
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 the war, politicians are the main target of foes because they are the decision makers
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it could put their lives at high risk.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, If
media
Use synonyms
 leaks the private information of government officials, they can not live a peaceful
life
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 will limit them to perform in
adequate
Correct article usage
an adequate
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 manner for the good of
country
Correct article usage
the country
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. If they can not make better decisions, the country can not make advancements in technology and other crucial aspects that are necessary for betterment
and results
Wrong verb form
resulting
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 in poor progress.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 studies
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
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 that humans can not make better decisions when they are not
good
Change preposition
in good
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at
Change preposition
apply
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mental health.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
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 is agreed
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that
life
Use synonyms
 of people
how
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 work for
national
Correct article usage
the national
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 interest officially must not be publicly posted on paper
media
Use synonyms
. It can risk
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
life
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 eventually
this
Linking Words
 can lead to state loss. The governments must make policies
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that should not let
media
Use synonyms
 to entertain by posting public
workers
Check wording
workers'
show examples
 personal
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 in
news
Correct article usage
the news
show examples
.

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task response
Answer the question more fully. Say why you agree, and also show why some people may not agree.
task response
Make your main idea clear in each body part, then add one strong reason and one clear example.
task response
Use examples that feel real and exact. Your war example is a bit too general.
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a clearer order. Some lines are hard to follow because the link between them is weak.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, also, because, so, and however.
coherence and cohesion
Check each paragraph has one main point only. Do not mix safety, peace, and country progress in the same part without clear steps.
task response
You clearly give your opinion and keep it the same from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
The main topic stays on politicians and private life, so the essay is mostly on topic.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • intrusion
  • accountability
  • transparency
  • sensationalism
  • privacy
  • public interest
  • collateral damage
  • precedent
  • responsible journalism
  • exploitation
  • democratic processes
  • media culture
  • balance
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