We should introduce laws to make businesses and state services employ equal numbers of male and female workers in every department or area of the company. How far do you support this idea? Give reasons for your answer, and support your essay with ideas and examples from your own experience.

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In the modern world, it is undeniable that
gender
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equality in the workplace has become an important issue. Some people argue that laws should be introduced to ensure an equal number of male and female employees in every department of businesses and state services.
Although
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some may agree with
this
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view, I partly support it
due to
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several reasons, which will be examined in
this
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essay. One of the most apparent reasons is that promoting
gender
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equality can create fair
opportunities
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and improve workplace diversity. To illustrate, ensuring balanced representation may help reduce discrimination and allow both men and women to contribute equally.
For instance
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, diverse teams often bring different perspectives and ideas, which can improve problem-solving and decision-making.
In addition
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, equal employment
opportunities
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can empower underrepresented groups and promote social justice. Another point that should not be overlooked is that enforcing strict quotas may not always be practical or effective. To clarify, hiring decisions should be based on skills, qualifications, and suitability for the job rather than solely on
gender
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.
For example
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, some industries may naturally have more applicants from one
gender
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, and imposing fixed ratios could limit efficiency or lead to unfair hiring practices.
Therefore
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, encouraging equal
opportunities
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is important, but rigid laws may not achieve the best outcomes. To recapitulate, it is evident that
gender
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equality in employment is essential for fairness and diversity,
while
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strict requirements for equal numbers may create practical challenges.
Therefore
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, I believe that
although
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governments should promote equal
opportunities
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, they should avoid enforcing rigid quotas and
instead
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focus on fair recruitment practices based on merit.

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task response
Make your main view stronger from the start. Say clearly why you only partly agree.
task response
Add one more clear and real example to support your ideas. This will make your answer stronger.
task response
Explain your second main point more deeply. Show how the law could cause problems in real work.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow, but some linking words are a bit repeated. Try to vary them.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea, which is good. To improve, add a little more detail after each point.
coherence and cohesion
The ending is clear, but it mostly repeats earlier ideas. Add one final thought to make it stronger.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear position: you partly support the idea.
task response
Your ideas stay on the topic and are mostly clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are in a logical order, so the reader can follow your ideas well.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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