Some people believe that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers instead of benefitting them individually. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →

It is often argued that the primary objective of educational institutions is to shape children into responsible inhabitants and productive members of the workforce, rather than to foster their individual growth.

While

Linking Words

I acknowledge the role of the academy in serving society's needs, I strongly disagree with the idea that

this

Linking Words

comes at the expense of individual development. In my view, these two purposes are not mutually exclusive but rather complementary. On the one hand,

schools

Use synonyms

play an indispensable role in preparing children to function effectively within society. By providing a standardised curriculum,

schools

Use synonyms

equip students with essential knowledge and soft skills,

such

Linking Words

as teamwork, discipline and respect for rules. These attributes are fundamental for providing law-abiding behaviour to their community.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, vocational and academic training ensure that the young generation possesses the necessary expertise to sustain the economy. Without

this

Linking Words

societal focus, a nation would struggle with social instability and a lack of skilled professionals, which would ultimately hinder progress for everyone.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is equally important that schooling caters for personal needs. Beyond simply churning out workers,

schools

Use synonyms

should be an environment that encourages critical thinking, creativity, and the discovery of personal passions. When literacy is tailored to help students identify their unique strengths, whether in arts, science or sports. It empowers them to lead fulfilling lives.

This

Linking Words

personalised approach does not conflict with society's goals

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

instead

Linking Words

, it fosters a more innovative and self-motivated populace. A student who is passionate about their field of study is far more likely to become an inspired

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

worker than one who feels forced into a rigid career path. In conclusion, I believe that the purpose of a university is not to choose between the societal benefit and individual gain, but to integrate both. A successful study system should concurrently instil the values required for living and provide the support needed for personal realisation. By nurturing the individual,

schools

Use synonyms

naturally create better citizens and more capable workers, provided that these goals are inherently intertwined.

quynhtranhbh

Apr 20, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Answer the question more directly in each body paragraph.

task response

Add one clear example to support each main idea.

task response

Keep the focus on schools, not university or academy.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words in a simple and clear way.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has one main idea only.

coherence and cohesion

Check sentence meaning, because some lines are not fully clear.

task response

Your opinion is clear from the start and stays the same.

coherence and cohesion

You have a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Most ideas are in a logical order.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

334 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?
While violence on screens and in virtual reality is increasing these days, some experts state that this phenomenon has a serious effect on the community. But others say it doesn't affect one's attitude. In my opinion, I totally believe that media violence does affect people's behaviours, especially children and teenagers. In this essay, I will refer to some studies to illustrate the negative impact of violence in video games.
6
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, society is increasingly developing in every aspect, and electronic devices, the most well-known of which is the smartphone, appear to be no exception, The youngster is more using mobile devices and spends a lot of time on them. In the personal alternative, this trend would create certain benefits but there will also be some drawbacks.
7.5
band
Nowadays young people lack an understanding of how to manage their finances after they finish high school. Explain why they do not know how to manage money and how this can be changed.
In recent times, pupils who complete their secondary education are unable to comprehend and control their bills. This is mainly because of the lack of experience and limited education which can be solved with two effective measures.
7.5
band
Many people these days choose to work abroad after graduation. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages.
It is often argued whether the first and foremost objective of science should be to enhance the quality of life for people or not. However, this essay agrees that improving people’s lives should be the priority of scientific research. Limited resources available for conducting scientific studies and the poor quality of life of people living in third-world countries are the biggest reasons why scientific studies should be focused on improving people’s lives.
6.5
band
In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that governments should levy a tariff on junk food because the number of health risks associated with consuming this kind of food is on the rise. This essay agrees that a higher rate of tax should be paid by fast-food companies. Firstly, alcohol and tobacco companies already pay higher taxes; secondly, higher taxes could raise prices and lower consumption.

Some people believe that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers instead of benefitting them individually. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays young people lack an understanding of how to manage their finances after they finish high school. Explain why they do not know how to manage money and how this can be changed.

Many people these days choose to work abroad after graduation. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages.

In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?