IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view.

#people #person #skills #group #activities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent decades, many researchers have studied the importance of
group
Use synonyms
-level cognition. Indeed, to my mind, there is now some convincing evidence to suggest that
group
Use synonyms
 activities improve the intelligence of
individuals
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I shall examine how research in team games and
study
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 supports
this
Linking Words
 view.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, team games clearly require
individuals
Use synonyms
 to perform a diverse range of rapid mental calculations.
This
Linking Words
 is because, in a sporting context, players must predict and anticipate possible actions within tight time constraints.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent Cambridge
study
Use synonyms
 showed that soccer players can – within the span of seconds – calculate over a dozen different permutations that could result from a single soccer-related action.
Such
Linking Words
 predictive powers clearly improve players' mental abilities and result from activities performed in a
group
Use synonyms
 context.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
study
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 enable
individuals
Use synonyms
 to obtain information that they could not acquire in isolation.
This
Linking Words
 is because peer feedback allows
individuals
Use synonyms
 to refine their understanding of concepts and to
also
Linking Words
 learn new information from other members of the
study
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a
study
Use synonyms
 by The British Institute for Learning found that, if
individuals
Use synonyms
 participated in
study
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
, they had a far more objective and sophisticated understanding of a topic than learners who were not part of
study
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is certainly the case that learning in a
group
Use synonyms
 improves an individual’s mental abilities. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the notion that
group
Use synonyms
 activities improve intellectual abilities. In the future, we will certainly see schools take greater measures to ensure that more
group
Use synonyms
-level cognition occurs in the classroom.
Submitted by patelmeera on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To further enhance your essay, you could add a counter-argument or address potential reservations about group activities to show a balanced analysis. This will demonstrate a stronger depth of critical thinking.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more transitional words and phrases between paragraphs and within them, to make the flow even smoother. For example, phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' 'Conversely,' etc., can help the transition between ideas.
task achievement
You provide strong, specific examples to support your points, such as the Cambridge study about soccer players and The British Institute for Learning study on study groups.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow within paragraphs and the linkage between your ideas are commendable, making your argument compelling and coherent.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • intellectual skills
  • group activities
  • collaborative learning
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • communication
  • interpersonal skills
  • diverse perspectives
  • creativity
  • individual study
  • personal reflection
  • autonomy
  • learning styles
  • approaches
What to do next:
Look at other essays: