IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is better for students to study form home rather than go to school. Do you agree or disagree

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First of all, Nowadays our eduction is changed completely over the past couple years, by making it easy to reach, not hard to access from any place in the world. In my opinion, I disagree with the first view
about
Correct word choice
that
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 studying at
home
Use synonyms
 is better than
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 to school. because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 there
a
Verb problem
are a
show examples
lot of
distraction
Fix the agreement mistake
distractions
show examples
 in the
home
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 very hard to focus or even to
organize
Change the spelling
organise
show examples
 yourself for learning. From my perspective, online waste of resources and time, it is like self learning whice is challenging
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 for younger students. I experienced before learning from
home
Use synonyms
,
due to
Linking Words
 Corona virus in 2020 until 2023, the most daunting phase I
ever
Verb problem
have ever
show examples
 gone
to it
Change preposition
through
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. My
exams
Check wording
exam
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 degree was the worst
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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also
Linking Words
 I lost my passion to learn or to improve, I
can't
Correct your spelling
couldn't
 understand the lectures no matter how hard I tried.
but
Fix capitalization
But
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 after
that
Punctuation problem
that,
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 when everything went
normal
Correct word choice
back
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 to the traditional method, I started to listen and understand
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 I enjoyed interacting with other students and the teachers. The most important things
communication
Verb problem
are communication
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 and
meet
Wrong verb form
meeting
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 other learners and
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
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 the same
interest
Check wording
interests
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. Unfortunately, learning from
home
Use synonyms
 is hard and difficult for different people
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Although
Linking Words
 the comfortable feeling that you can feel by using technology, it's boring
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 you will not
able
Verb problem
be able
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 to make friends to learn and play with each other.
However
Linking Words
, online learning
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 vital
rule
Check wording
rules
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 for mothers with
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of responsibilites and they want to improve the eduction degree,
also
Linking Words
 students with chronic
condition
Check wording
conditions
show examples
 like
diebetice
Correct your spelling
diabetes
 and asthma or rare health conditions with
low
Correct article usage
a low
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 immune system; that dangerous and risky to
contact
Verb problem
come into contact
show examples
 with others

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task response
Make your main view more clear in the first part and keep the same view to the end.
task response
Add one more clear reason why school is better, and explain it with a short example.
coherence cohesion
Some ideas are good, but some parts are hard to follow. Put one main idea in each body part.
coherence cohesion
Use easy linking words like first, also, for example, however, and in conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Write a short end part that repeats your view in a direct way.
task response
You answer the question and show a clear side: you disagree.
task response
You give real examples from your life, like learning from home in 2020 to 2023.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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