Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals.” Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Many people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
that
zoos
Use synonyms
are
dengirous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
and should be closed down, others,
hoever
Correct your spelling
however
,
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
that
zoos
Use synonyms
can be useful in protecting wild
animals
Use synonyms
. In my
opinian
Correct your spelling
opinion
, the
zoos
Use synonyms
shoould but
Correct your spelling
should keep
the wild
animal
Check wording
animals
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
safe and close
area
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
with, close
area
Use synonyms
is a good idea for the wild animal.
First,
Linking Words
the dangerous
animals
Use synonyms
like
,
Check wording
the lion, Lion
show examples
Lion
Use synonyms
,
Tiger
Use synonyms
, Bear and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others must
e
Correct your spelling
be
in a safe and close
area
Use synonyms
becaouse
Correct your spelling
because
there
a
Verb problem
are a
show examples
lot of people
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
want to see
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
the
animals
Use synonyms
, so they can't
closed
Wrong verb form
close
show examples
down the
zoos
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the wild animal should go out
they
Punctuation problem
; they
show examples
can't put them in a small room.
For example
Linking Words
,
Lion
Use synonyms
,
Tiger
Use synonyms
, and Monkey all of them want to play with their family
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
some of the wild
animals
Use synonyms
live in the water, so if they live
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
water
Punctuation problem
water,
show examples
they are going to die.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, protecting wild
animals
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
extremely
crucal
Correct your spelling
crucial
. The
zoos
Use synonyms
have to protect them and to find the best atmosphere for them. First, many
children
Punctuation problem
children,
show examples
when they go to the
zoo
Punctuation problem
zoo,
show examples
they through
Verb problem
throw
show examples
the can or bottle and sometimes they heat them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the zoo is the best place for some
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of
animals
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the children can see the
animals
Use synonyms
, but some of them are dangerous for children
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
For example
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Lion
Check wording
lions
show examples
,
Use synonyms
Tiger
Check wording
tigers
show examples
, and Bear if they
in
Verb problem
are in
show examples
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
area
Use synonyms
so
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
it will be easy for them to attack
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people,
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
they
easily can
Correct word order
can easily
show examples
kill someone. In conclusion, close
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
is a good idea for the wild
animals
Use synonyms
.
Lion
Use synonyms
,
Tiger
Use synonyms
and Bear must stay in a safe and close
area
Use synonyms
. Protecting wild
animals
Use synonyms
are extremelymly crucal. The
zoos
Use synonyms
have to find the best
atmosphare
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
for them.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why some people want zoos to close, and why others think zoos help animals.
task response
Give your opinion in a clear way and keep it the same all through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use more clear main ideas in each part. One part should talk about one main point only.
coherence and cohesion
Add simple link words like first, also, however, because, and in conclusion.
task response
Explain your examples more. Do not only name animals; say how the example supports your idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence easy to follow. Some ideas now are hard to understand.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to discuss both views, not only one side.
task response
You used some examples about lions, tigers, and bears to support your ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
Topic Vocabulary:
  • animal welfare
  • conservation
  • captive breeding
  • habitat
  • ethical issues
  • zoochosis
  • endangered species
  • genetic diversity
  • reintroduction programs
  • wildlife education
  • sanctuary
  • natural living conditions
  • artificial environments
  • behavioral enrichment
  • ecosystem
What to do next:
Look at other essays: