Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals.” Discuss both views and give your opinion.
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Many people
belive
that Correct your spelling
believe
zoos
are Use synonyms
dengirous
and should be closed down, others, Correct your spelling
dangerous
hoever
, Correct your spelling
however
belive
that Correct your spelling
believe
zoos
can be useful in protecting wild Use synonyms
animals
. In my Use synonyms
opinian
, the Correct your spelling
opinion
zoos
Use synonyms
shoould but
the wild Correct your spelling
should keep
animal
in Check wording
animals
the
safe and close Correct article usage
a
area
. Use synonyms
To begin
with, close Linking Words
area
is a good idea for the wild animal. Use synonyms
First,
the dangerous Linking Words
animals
likeUse synonyms
,
Check wording
the lion, Lion
Lion
, Use synonyms
Tiger
, Bear and Use synonyms
the
others must Correct article usage
apply
e
in a safe and close Correct your spelling
be
area
Use synonyms
becaouse
thereCorrect your spelling
because
a
lot of people Verb problem
are a
they
want to see Correct pronoun usage
who
the
the Remove the redundancy
apply
animals
, so they can't Use synonyms
closed
down the Wrong verb form
close
zoos
. Use synonyms
Secondly
, the wild animal should go out Linking Words
they
can't put them in a small room. Punctuation problem
; they
For example
, Linking Words
Lion
,Use synonyms
Tiger
, and Monkey all of them want to play with their family Use synonyms
and
some of the wild Punctuation problem
, and
animals
live in the water, so if they live Use synonyms
the
Change preposition
in the
water
they are going to die. Punctuation problem
water,
On the other hand
, protecting wild Linking Words
animals
Use synonyms
are
extremely Correct subject-verb agreement
is
crucal
. The Correct your spelling
crucial
zoos
have to protect them and to find the best atmosphere for them. First, many Use synonyms
children
when they go to the Punctuation problem
children,
zoo
Punctuation problem
zoo,
they through
the can or bottle and sometimes they heat them. Verb problem
throw
Secondly
, the zoo is the best place for some Linking Words
type
of Fix the agreement mistake
types
animals
Use synonyms
and
the children can see the Punctuation problem
, and
animals
, but some of them are dangerous for childrenUse synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
For example
, Linking Words
Use synonyms
Lion
, Check wording
lions
Use synonyms
Tiger
, and Bear if they Check wording
tigers
in
Verb problem
are in
public
Correct article usage
a public
area
Use synonyms
so
it will be easy for them to attack Punctuation problem
,
the
people, Correct article usage
apply
which
they Correct word choice
and
easily can
kill someone. In conclusion, close Correct word order
can easily
are
is a good idea for the wild Verb problem
apply
animals
. Use synonyms
Lion
, Use synonyms
Tiger
and Bear must stay in a safe and close Use synonyms
area
. Protecting wild Use synonyms
animals
are extremelymly crucal. The Use synonyms
zoos
have to find the best Use synonyms
atmosphare
for them.Correct your spelling
atmosphere
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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why some people want zoos to close, and why others think zoos help animals.
task response
Give your opinion in a clear way and keep it the same all through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use more clear main ideas in each part. One part should talk about one main point only.
coherence and cohesion
Add simple link words like first, also, however, because, and in conclusion.
task response
Explain your examples more. Do not only name animals; say how the example supports your idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence easy to follow. Some ideas now are hard to understand.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to discuss both views, not only one side.
task response
You used some examples about lions, tigers, and bears to support your ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite