IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Social media it's the common phenomenon nowadays, it has pros and cons. Some people dedicate much time
on
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to
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 it, others a little bit of time. I think it's the most powerful thing, unique and advanced. In
this
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 essay. I will discuss
this
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 topic in detail, and I will give my own opinion with supportive explanations. First and foremost, platforms have a strong influence on our lives. You can solve any problematic questions
by
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with
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 it. It acually become an enormous part. I think communication has become easier.
For instance
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, calling a friend can be
by press on
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done by pressing
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 his number. It's very
convienent
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convenient
.
However
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, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Secondly
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, imagine you have a brother abroad, and without
phone
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a phone
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 you can't talk to him or see him,
this
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 would be very
frastruting
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frustrating
, because of that, there is
is
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apply
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a tool help us to do
less
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our
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 job
effectively
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more effectively
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.
May be
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Maybe
 it might affect the way we think, and decrease the dopamine. But,
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overall
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overall,
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 it
assist
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assists
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 us so much. The disadvantages of it
,
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apply
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is
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are
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 the continuous exposure to it,
and
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apply
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ignoring our family, and not talking face-to -face regularly. All these negative aspects. but individual not pay much attention to it.
Also
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watching
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, watching
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 bad contents stress you out. And
sometime
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sometimes
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 connecting with
dingerous
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dangerous
 people can have
a
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apply
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consequences. In conclusion, from my experience, I saw many people get depressed and have
a
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apply
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social anxiety,
duo
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due
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 to
consuming
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spending too
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 much time in internet. I think balance is the key to any issue
,
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;
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 it makes you aware and progressive simultaneously.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly from the start. Say if the good sides are more than the bad sides, and keep this idea clear in all parts.
task response
Give more full main ideas. Some points are too short, so the reader cannot see your meaning well.
task response
Use one or two clear examples to support your ideas. Your example about a brother abroad is helpful, but it needs more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some sentences stop too fast or do not connect well to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph flow. The last body paragraph has many ideas together, so it feels less clear.
task response
You answer the topic and give your opinion that the good sides are stronger.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking words like first, secondly, however, and in conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instantaneous communication
  • geographical barriers
  • information hub
  • breaking news
  • educational content
  • professional networking
  • industry experts
  • community support
  • privacy infringement
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • mental wellbeing
  • social comparison
  • online validation
  • cyberbullying
  • detriments
  • vulnerable individuals
What to do next:
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