IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe bicycle has lot of advantages whereas others believe bicycle has more disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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in
Fix capitalization
In
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 recent years , it has been an ongoing debate about whether
bicycle
Use synonyms
 is effective mode of transportation .
While
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 some people argue that cycling offers numerous benefits ,
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whereas other
Correct word choice
others
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 believe that it presents more drawbacks .
This
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 essay will discuss both viewpoints before presenting my perspective that , despite certain limitations , the advantages of
Use synonyms
bicycle
Check wording
bicycles
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 outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand ,who
are supporting
Wrong verb form
support
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 the benefits of
Use synonyms
bicycle
Check wording
bicycles
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 because of
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 positive impact on
overall
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 well-being . One of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 is
cycling
Correct word choice
that cycling
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 is an environmentally friendly means .
This
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 is because it does not produce any harmful
emission
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emissions
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, thereby helping to reduce air pollution and combat climate change .
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, riding a
bicycle
Use synonyms
 is highly
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for physical health as it promotes regular exercise and improves
phycial
Correct your spelling
physical
 activities.
As a result
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 , individuals can maintain a healthier lifestyle
while
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also
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contributingpositively
Correct your spelling
contributing positively
 to the environment .
On the other hand
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, those who
content
Verb problem
contend
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 that
Correct subject-verb agreement
bicycles
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bicycle
Use synonyms
 offer several disadvantages . A key argument is that cycling can be unsafe , particularly in cities with heavy traffic
congestions
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congestion
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.
This
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 is mainly
due to
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 the fact that cyclists are more vulnerable to accidents compared to those using
motor cycles
Correct your spelling
motorcycles
.
For instance
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 ,in many urban areas, the lack of dedicated cycling lanes increases the risk of collisions.
Furthermore
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, it is not
practical
Correct article usage
a practical
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 mode of transportation in long distance travel
due to
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 the extreme weather conditions. In conclusion ,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 believe that cycling is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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one
the
Change preposition
of the
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 best
exercise
Fix the agreement mistake
exercises
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,even
it
Correct word choice
though it
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 is
scientificaly
Correct your spelling
scientifically
 proven .

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task response
Write a full ending. Your last part is too short and does not clearly sum up both sides and your view.
task response
Answer all parts of the task in a balanced way. You discuss both sides, but your own view at the end is not fully clear or developed.
task response
Give one more clear example to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple and correct way. Some words like 'whereas' and 'on the one hand' are not used well.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar so your ideas are easier to follow.
task response
You discuss both views and this matches the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and two body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like 'On the one hand' and 'Furthermore'.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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