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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of government spending on roads and transport in 4 countries in the years 1990, 1995, 2000, 2005.

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The following bar chart illustrates the percentage of money the government spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 road fatalities in four countries from 1990
-
Change preposition
to
show examples
2005.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of government spending in three countries - Italy,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and the USA - fluctuated, that of Portugal shows a downward
trend
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
as observed from the graph, the percentage of government spending on
Portugal
Correct word choice
Portuguese
show examples
 roadways shows a decreasing
trend
Use synonyms
along
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the four given years
from
Punctuation problem
, from
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 about 27% in 1990 to only 20% in 2005. As for Italy, during 1990 and 1995, it saw a similar
trend
Use synonyms
 as Portugal, slightly dropping from 23% in 1990 to 20% in 1995.
However
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, in 2000 it began to rise back upwards to 24% before dropping down to less than 20% in 2005. The same
trend
Use synonyms
 occurred in the UK as well — there was a reduction from 10% in 1990 to under 9% in 1995. The proportion grew back to around 12% in 2000,
then
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 it began to fall
down
Rephrase
apply
show examples
again in 2005 to about 7%.
Similarly
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, the USA
also
Linking Words
 experienced
this
Linking Words
 fluctuating
trend
Use synonyms
 in the first three given years
by
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 decreasing from 11% in 1990 to 10% in 1995,
then
Linking Words
 climbed back up to 13% in 2000. The only difference was that
instead
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 of falling back down like the other countries in the
last
Linking Words
 year, the figures ascended to 15%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words trend with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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