IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that economic progress is the only way to measure a country’s success, while others think that there are other factors. What are these factors? Which one is more important than others?

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Many people believe that economic
progress
Use synonyms
 is the only factor to record the level of
country’s
Correct article usage
a country’s
show examples
 success,
while
Linking Words
 others think that it is
one
Use synonyms
 of the
factors
Use synonyms
, but not the only
one
Use synonyms
. Definitely,
besides
Linking Words
 economic
Use synonyms
progress
Add a comma
progress,
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 there are hundreds of
factors
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 that influence
on
Change preposition
a
show examples
 country’s success,
such
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 as
popularity’s
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 well-being.
However
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, despite the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of other
factors
Use synonyms
, economic
progress
Use synonyms
stays
Verb problem
remains
show examples
 the most important
one
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.
One
Use synonyms
 of the most significant
factors
Use synonyms
 is social well-being. The government cannot consider the country as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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successful
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 if
a
Correct article usage
the
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 population doesn’t have
high-living
Correct word choice
high
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 standards
.
Change preposition
of living.
show examples
 Good educational institutions (both public schools and higher educational institutions), good medical services and transportation
infostructure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 are examples that can be included in these standards.
For example
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, I have read an article recently, where
was
Correct pronoun usage
there was
show examples
 a
statistics
Fix the agreement mistake
statistic
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 that spans the period between 2010 and 2025. Based on
this
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 data, approximately 93% of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 from successful countries witnessed about their social well-being.
Although
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 each factor is significant, the most important factor
stays
Verb problem
remains
show examples
 economic
progress
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. It covers a lot of fields,
such
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 as technological innovations, industrial expansion,
GDP
Correct word choice
and GDP
show examples
, to name just a few. All these improvements lead to better income, which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 a substantial influence on
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
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 system and
country
Correct article usage
the country
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.
For example
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, based on the article that I mentioned in the previous paragraph, almost every successful country
is having
Wrong verb form
has
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 notable economic growth or, at least, doesn’t have
economic
Correct article usage
an economic
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 downturn (97%). In conclusion, despite there
are
Wrong verb form
being
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 quite many
factors
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 that help experts to measure a country’s success,
such
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 as social well-being and
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
show examples
 educational system, economic growth
stills
Verb problem
is still
show examples
 the most important
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 them.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You name other factors and choose economic progress, but explain why it is more important in a deeper way.
task response
Use clearer examples. Your examples are very general, and the article data does not feel fully clear or strong.
task response
Develop each main idea with one clear reason and one clear example. This will make your points easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good. Now make links between ideas smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because of grammar and word choice. Use shorter sentences with simple linking words like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. This will help your essay feel more ordered and easier to read.
task response
You answer both questions in the task and give your opinion clearly.
task response
You include more than one factor for success, such as social well-being, education, health, and transport.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph plan: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like however, for example, although, and in conclusion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • holistic approach
  • subjective well-being
  • quality of life
  • human development index (HDI)
  • green economy
  • technological prowess
  • social cohesion
  • equality and equity
  • cultural vitality
  • political transparency
  • judicial efficacy
  • civil liberties
  • progress indicators
  • societal prosperity
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