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Writing Samples
Band 5

Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and give your own opinio

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There has been much debate revolving around whether advertising is a positive or negative part of our
life
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lives
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. Some people believe that it is beneficial for our
society
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society,
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while
Linking Words
 others speculate that it is more of a drawback. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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 we will examine both sides and provide a personal opinion. First and foremost, advertising is a very efficient way to manipulate people and persuade them to buy certain products or services. Every small business, supermarket or even restaurant uses different advertising techniques to attract customers. It would not be so critical
but
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, but
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 the majority of
time
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the time
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people
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, people
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 tend to buy things that they do not even need.
As a result
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, business leaders generate more money
but
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, but
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 consumers are misled and often end up overspending on things they do not need
which
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, which
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 later exceeds their budget.
Furthermore
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, more and more of these online ads are specially made to impact children.
This
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 can be seen at the
toys
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toy
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 stores, video games and social media platforms. It might lead to
children
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children's
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 accidental purchases or even scams.
On the other hand
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, advertising
also
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 has certain advantages. It helps small businesses to expand and create more employment opportunities.
Consequently
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, it can
thrive
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boost
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 the country’s
economics
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economy
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 and help to decrease unemployment.
Additionally
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,
start up
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start-up
 businesses have a bigger chance of seeing the daylight and conquering modern markets.
This
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 way
the
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, the
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 society can be introduced to cutting-edge technology, modern developments and newest products. In conclusion, both aspects have their own advantages and disadvantages
but
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, but
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personally
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personally,
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 I think that advertising is beneficial

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task response
For task response, give your opinion more clearly and earlier. You say your view only at the end, so it feels too short.
task response
For task response, develop both sides more fully. The good side has fewer details than the bad side.
task response
For task response, add one more clear and real example for each side. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some linking is good, but a few ideas are not fully connected. Make each point lead more smoothly to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the last sentence is too short and feels unfinished. Write a fuller final thought.
task response
You answer both views of the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs for each main side.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking words like first, furthermore, on the other hand, and in conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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