Nowadays fashion is becoming more and more important to young people. Some people thinkthis has negative impacts on young people and on society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Today's generation

value

Correct subject-verb agreement

values

show examples

fashion

Use synonyms

crucial

Rephrase

crucially

show examples

for their daily routines.

While

Linking Words

some

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

have

influenced

Verb problem

been influenced

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

trend

due to

Linking Words

their interests or working needs, others contend

this

Linking Words

may

leads

Wrong verb form

lead

show examples

to negative impacts on wider society,

such

Linking Words

as unintended social

bully

Replace the word

bullying

and

waste

Use synonyms

management. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will examine both views before concluding my personal perspective. One of the most apparent reasons that chic clothes

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

embedded in young individuals is the

beuaty

Correct your spelling

beauty

it brings by matching several accessories with pants or dresses.

This

Linking Words

may boost confidence for young individuals, showing their creativity and character with

such

Linking Words

fashion

Use synonyms

. To illustrate, students in beuaty major believe that put warm color flower dress

together with

Linking Words

boots can attract friendships

due to

Linking Words

harmless

Correct article usage

the harmless

show examples

character

its demonstrating

Wrong verb form

it demonstrates

show examples

In addition

Linking Words

, appropriate suits

also

Linking Words

enhance trust between staff and client as bold and

trust

Replace the word

trustworthy

identity may

appears

Wrong verb form

appear

show examples

from

relevance

Replace the word

relevant

fashion

Use synonyms

. It advantages company to gain as many clients as they should have. Another point that should not be overlooked is that having

firm

Correct article usage

a firm

show examples

interest

Change preposition

show examples

fashion

Use synonyms

may distinguish

such

Linking Words

group

Correct article usage

a group

show examples

with

Change preposition

from

show examples

those who can not afford fashionable items. It probably

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to bullying among girls or even boys, especially for youngster that believe their status

higher

Verb problem

is higher

show examples

than those

are

Correct pronoun usage

who are

show examples

not fashionable.

Furthermore

Linking Words

trend

Correct article usage

the trend

show examples

Use synonyms

fashion

Correct article usage

the fashion

show examples

industry has increased fabric

waste

Use synonyms

and contaminated

environment

Correct article usage

the environment

show examples

seriously.

For instance

Linking Words

, Indonesia has struggled to manage textile

waste

Use synonyms

river

Check wording

rivers

show examples

and

costline

Use the right word

coastline

show examples

for more

two

Correct word choice

than two

show examples

decades, causing water and soil pollution and

threaten

Wrong verb form

threatening

show examples

human health. To recapitulate,

although

Linking Words

the constraints of growing

fashion

Use synonyms

trend

Check wording

trends

show examples

such

Linking Words

as unwanted bullying and

waste

Use synonyms

pollution, I strongly believe

fashion

Use synonyms

is more beneficial as it can enhance

confidence

Correct article usage

the confidence

show examples

youngster

Check wording

youngsters

show examples

and gain trust in

workplace

Correct article usage

the workplace

show examples

siti.saringatin13

Apr 22, 2026

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task response

Give a clearer answer to the question. Say in the introduction if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this the same in the whole essay.

task response

Write ideas more clearly and explain them more. Some points are hard to follow because of word choice and grammar.

task response

Use examples that are more direct and easy to understand. Your example about waste in Indonesia is useful, but the first example about clothes and friendship is not very clear.

coherence and cohesion

Make topic sentences simpler and clearer so the reader can see the main point of each body paragraph fast.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas with simple and correct words like first, also, however, and therefore. Some links now feel weak or unclear.

coherence and cohesion

Check sentence order inside paragraphs. A few sentences do not connect smoothly to the one before.

task response

You answer the topic and discuss both good and bad sides of fashion.

coherence and cohesion

You include an introduction and a conclusion, which helps the essay feel complete.

coherence and cohesion

Your second body paragraph has a clear main idea about social problems and waste.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Nowadays fashion is becoming more and more important to young people. Some people thinkthis has negative impacts on young people and on society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.