IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.

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The bar chart provides key information about the average weekly spending by families in one country in 1968 and in
2018
Punctuation problem
2018,
show examples
 the units are
meausured
Correct your spelling
measured
 in a percentage.
Linking Words
Overall
Punctuation problem
Overall,
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 it is clear from the graph that food held the lead in 1968,
whereas
Linking Words
 leisure is the highest
categorise
Replace the word
category
 in 2018
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 in
contrary
Check wording
contrast
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fuel and power
is
Verb problem
apply
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remained the lowest.
According to
Linking Words
 what is
shown
Punctuation problem
shown,
show examples
 the gap between the
average
Fix the agreement mistake
averages
show examples
 in the two years
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 bigger in food, recorded 35% in 1968, and 18% approximately in 2018,
whereas
Linking Words
 the gap widened
shrinking
Punctuation problem
, shrinking
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 in fuel and power, recorded 6% in 1968, and 4% in 2018
, another
Punctuation problem
. Another
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 striking point, housing recorded 19% in 2018,
while
Linking Words
 it recorded 10% in 1968. In terms of the clothing and footwear, recorded 10% in 1968 and half of it in 2018, both of the years recorded 7 in the household goods, and it is the same average for the personal goods in 1968, the average declined in 2018, but showed a sharp rise in the transport until it recorded the
higher
Replace the word
highest
 average 23% in leisure.
Beside
Change preposition
Besides
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 that, the
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transport and leisure showed a minor fluctuation
rising
Punctuation problem
, rising
show examples
 from around 7% to 9%

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Weekly income
  • Expenditure
  • Consumption patterns
  • Cost of living
  • Discretionary spending
  • Inflation
  • Economic indicators
  • Demographics
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Technology advancements
  • Government policies
  • Consumerism
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Fiscal habits
  • Budget allocation
  • Financial priorities
  • Societal trends
  • Purchasing power
  • Income distribution
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