IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the life cycle of the Monarch butterfly.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The chart explains the cyclic process of
life
Correct article usage
the life
show examples
 of the Monarch butterfly, starting from mating and egg laying.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is crystal clear that the butterfly lifecycle has nine stages.
Initial
Change preposition
In the initial
show examples
 period
butterfly
Punctuation problem
, butterfly
show examples
laying
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
eggs
Use synonyms
Linking Words
at
Verb problem
are laid at
show examples
 the end of the period
eggs
Use synonyms
 change to
adult
Use synonyms
 butterflies.
Firstly
Linking Words
, mature butterflies are laying
eggs
Use synonyms
 on milkweed and starting
egg
Correct article usage
the egg
show examples
stage
Use synonyms
. After that
these
Punctuation problem
, these
show examples
eggs
Use synonyms
 change to a new
larvas
Fix the agreement mistake
larva
show examples
 and
this
Linking Words
 process happens for approximately two weeks. Caterpillars eat milkweed leaves
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 when they grow,
this
Linking Words
 process ends and starts
larval
Correct article usage
the larval
show examples
stage
Use synonyms
.
Adult
Use synonyms
 larva to weave
chrysalis
Correct article usage
a chrysalis
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
stage
Use synonyms
 will take 10 days.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the third
stage
Use synonyms
 starts
is
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the pupal
stage
Use synonyms
.
At the end
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
 period, an
adult
Use synonyms
 butterfly emerges from the chrysalis. The final
stage
Use synonyms
 is the
adult
Use synonyms
stage
Use synonyms
, which lasts around six months.
Adult
Use synonyms
 Monarch butterflies migrate south and later north. During
this
Linking Words
stage
Use synonyms
, they
repreduce
Correct your spelling
reproduce
, and females lay
eggs
Use synonyms
 again.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words eggs, adult, stage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: