IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people say that ebook and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines . to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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 contemporary world, some
advocaters
Replace the word
advocates
 claim that
articles
Use synonyms
such
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 as
newspaper
Check wording
newspapers
show examples
 and magazines
,
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apply
show examples
 will be completely replaced by
ebook
Correct your spelling
e-books
 and modern technology. From where I stand, I adhere to the said notion above for the following reasons. We cannot deny the fact that reading
articles
Use synonyms
 by the
state of arts
Correct your spelling
state-of-the-art
 technology is quite eco-friendly because
pulishing
Correct your spelling
publishing
 companies could avoid
to make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 physical materials. These days,
reserchers arould
Correct your spelling
researchers around
 the world warn that the
propotion
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proportion
 of
corbon
Correct your spelling
carbon
 dioxide is increasing, which leads to raising tempature of earth. In general,
this
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 is
let
Verb problem
caused
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 by human
activiteis
Correct your spelling
activities
 like burning too much
flue
Correct your spelling
fuel
.
Moreover
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, as I mentioned above, the way that readers get the information does not generate any kind of physical thing
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
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 is why individuals can read some
articles
Use synonyms
whereever
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wherever
 they
could be
Wrong verb form
are
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all
Punctuation problem
, all
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 over the
world
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world,
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 even if
they
Fix capitalization
They
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 have devises.
However
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,
this
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 way
also
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 includes negative aspects that they need to prepare for gadgets, which I find not easy, in terms of cost. It is
also
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 an undeniable fact that readers are able to get products as soon as
publishing
Correct article usage
the publishing
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 company make them.
Therefore
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, the
influencial
Correct your spelling
influential
 ability of
this
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 business will get higher.
In addition
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, in the case of utilizeing internet, they can attach some videos, which makes it
earier
Correct your spelling
easier
 to understand the contents epecially for children.
On the other hand
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, to get daily information via
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is difficult for older
.
Check wording
people.
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As a result
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,
this
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 way is suitable for not all
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
.
To sum up
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, the trend that
articles
Use synonyms
 will be replaced in the future includes both
pro
Fix the agreement mistake
pros
show examples
 and cons, meanwhile I really agree with it
due to
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reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 above. 環境に優しい、どこでも読める コストカット、発行してすぐ届く 電子デバイス持ってる前提、高齢者にとっては難しい、目が疲れやすい

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task response
Make your answer more direct. Say clearly in the first part that you agree, disagree, or partly agree.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Some points are good, but they need more support and a clear example.
task response
Stay close to the question. You talk about good and bad sides, but your view should stay strong all through the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a clearer paragraph plan. One main idea in each body part will help your essay feel easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas in a simple way. Sometimes the jump from one idea to the next is too fast.
coherence cohesion
Finish some long sentences. A few ideas stop early or are not fully joined, so the meaning is not always clear.
task response
You answer the topic and give your view in the introduction.
task response
You include more than one reason, such as saving paper and fast news delivery.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You use some linking words like moreover, however, therefore, and to sum up.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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