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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during.

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The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during.
The line graph depicts the average change in the prices of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
copper, nickel and zinc in the
year
Use synonyms
 of 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 average monthly changes in prices are compared
Use synonyms
month wise
Correct your spelling
month-wise
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 shown certain fluctuations throughout the
year
Use synonyms
 of 2014. The
price
Use synonyms
 of copper has gradually dropped from January to May from 2% to -0.5% and maintained the same level throughout the
month
Use synonyms
 of June(-0.5%).
the
Fix capitalization
The
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price
Use synonyms
raised from-0.5
Verb problem
rose from -0.5
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 to 1% from June to July
till
Change preposition
to
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 September.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 it dropped in October by 0.5% and continued with the same percentage in the
month
Use synonyms
 of November.
however
Linking Words
 the
price
Use synonyms
 increased from November to December -0.5 to 0.5% Nickel Metal is costlier than
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of the metals.
Initially
Linking Words
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 was quoted 6% in the
month
Use synonyms
 of January and
deprived
Verb problem
decreased
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 by 5% in the
month
Use synonyms
 of March
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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continuous
Correct article usage
a continuous
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 drop was observed till June from 1% to -3% with certain fluctuations by the end of the
year
Use synonyms
. Zinc
price
Use synonyms
 fluctuated throughout the
year
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 starting and the end point remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
Linking Words
that
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
 is 1%

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, month, price with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "change" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly change
  • prices of metals
  • trend
  • spike
  • fluctuation
  • increase
  • decrease
  • sharp rise
  • sharp fall
  • stability
  • volatility
  • data points
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • external factors
  • influences
  • market dynamics
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