many animal species are becoming endangered or extinct due to human activities. Some people believe that we should spend large amounts of money to protect these animals, while others think this money should be spent on solving problems facing humans. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
In recent years, there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
an ongoing debate regarding many animal species
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
becoming endangered or extinct
as a result
Linking Words
of human activities. A group of individuals believes that spending a large amount of money to ensure these
animals
Use synonyms
is waiting money.
However
Linking Words
, others argue that funds should
instead
Linking Words
be used to address urgent human problems.
Therefore
Linking Words
, ahead of my opinion, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views will be discussed
further
Linking Words
. Examining the former opinion, the primary argument the supporters would put forward is that investing heavily in wildlife is to protect
ecological
Correct article usage
the ecological
show examples
system.
Animals
Use synonyms
are part of nature, and each species has a significant role in the environment. If wildlife die will affect the whole ecosystem.
In addition
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
believe that protecting
animals
Use synonyms
can help humans in the future,
such
Linking Words
as in medicine and science.
Therefore
Linking Words
, allocating funds to conservation can be seen as an investment in the planet’s future stability.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, those in favour of the latter opinion have their own arguments.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
their claim
that
Verb problem
is that
show examples
many people's related issues
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
as poverty, healthcare, and
education
Punctuation problem
education,
show examples
should take priority. The government should fund schools, hospitals, and amenities to be need.
Moreover
Linking Words
, investing in or helping
human
Check wording
humans
show examples
can bring immediate benefits,
while
Linking Words
protecting
animals
Use synonyms
may take a long time to see results.
To conclude
Linking Words
and offer my position,
while
Linking Words
some people believe that spending money to safeguard
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
animal species is necessary, other people think financial resources should focus solely on human needs.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that both are crucial and better future life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides more fully. Say why each side is right with clearer detail.
task response
Give your opinion in a clear way in the intro and the end.
task response
Use one or two simple real examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph have one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, so, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some lines are hard to follow because the grammar breaks the meaning.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your opinion at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
The main topic stays on animal protection and human problems.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: