IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is important for people to take risks both in their personal and professional lives. Do you think that advantages of taking taking risks overweigh disadvantages?

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People often
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
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 that they should take
risks
Use synonyms
 in their private
Use synonyms
life
Check wording
apply
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and work
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. I totally agree with that statement and think that taking
risks
Use synonyms
 has beneficial effects on both
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
. First of all, there are a lot of person who experienced
the
Correct article usage
apply
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real happiness after
risk
Wrong verb form
risking
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 their professional
life
Use synonyms
 because of the feeling of success.
For
Change preposition
To
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 achieve in work,
employeess
Correct your spelling
employees
 must risk the facts
like
Correct word choice
that
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 they can be fired if they can'
t
Use synonyms
 do but if they don'
t
Use synonyms
try
Punctuation problem
try,
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 they can never progress.
For example
Linking Words
, most of the CEO's that are very successful
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 once just
a
Correct article usage
apply
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simple workers
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
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 they
take
Wrong verb form
took
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risks
Use synonyms
 and
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
 the difference between CEO's and other
peoples
Check wording
people
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, if people don'
t
Use synonyms
 take any
Use synonyms
risks
Punctuation problem
risks,
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 they
stay
Rephrase
always stay
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always at
Change preposition
in
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 the same place in professional
life
Use synonyms
. Second of all, despite the career
Punctuation problem
,
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also
Linking Words
 in personal
relationships
Punctuation problem
relationships,
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 so many people are afraid to confess their real
feeling
Check wording
feelings
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 to their friends or their platonic lovers
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; therefore
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therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
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 a lot of lovers can'
t
Use synonyms
 open
up
Correct pronoun usage
themselves up
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theirselves
Correct word order
apply
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and feel pain alone.
In other words
Linking Words
, the ones
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 take the responsability and take the risk
with
Change preposition
of
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 confessing eachother, has a great relationship today.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 a lot of marriage has a story
according to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
.
Therefore
Linking Words
taking
Punctuation problem
, taking
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risks
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 personal
life
Use synonyms
 can
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 your
life
Use synonyms
 in many important ways. In conclusion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that taking
risks
Use synonyms
 is better than
remain
Wrong verb form
remaining
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 always at the same location in work and
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 other perspectif, waiting
someone
Change preposition
for someone
show examples
 else
come
Verb problem
to come
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 to you is a
lost
Replace the word
loss
 of time in relationships.

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task response
Answer the full question more clearly. You say you agree, but you should also say why the bad side is smaller.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main ideas easier to follow. Use one clear idea in each body part, then explain it step by step.
task response
Use examples with more detail. Your examples are on topic, but they are too general.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple and clear way. Some sentences are hard to follow because the order of ideas is not smooth.
task response
You answer the topic and give a clear opinion from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples from work life and personal life, so your ideas are relevant.
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