IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people think that developing very fast train systems between cities is a waste of money, and the goverment should be instead focused on developing existing public transports. To what extent do you agree/disagree?

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In my opinion, the government underestimates the pros of having highly developed railway systems, especially if it spreads countrywide. A lot of people prefer to live in suburban counties or work in different cities, others like to often visit their family from different states
and
Punctuation problem
,
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 etc.
In other words
Linking Words
,
fast
Correct article usage
a fast
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 train system can be used by everyone and everywhere for a lot of situations
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it will bring only positive effects and will work for the good of the people. Developing train systems might be a little long and hard, but its definetly not
that
Rephrase
as
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 expensive as it might sound. Spending more money on existing public
tranportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 is not necessary at the moment, what we really need if not including the trains theme is
developing
Wrong verb form
to develop
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 the
infrastruction
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 of the cities for people to be able to move across the streets more
faster
Rephrase
quickly
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, comfortably and freely. Developed
infrasturction
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 means less traffic, more usage of manual transports like bicycles and scooters and more income for the public vehicles, adding to the city budget to develop it more.

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task response
Give a clearer answer to the question in the first line. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree.
task response
Add one or two clear examples. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to believe.
task response
Explain your main points more. Some ideas are good, but they need more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple paragraph plan: intro, body 1, body 2, conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with words like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Now some ideas are mixed together.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about trains and public transport all the way through.
task response
You give more than one reason for your view, such as travel between cities and better city movement.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas have a clear direction and the reader can follow your main opinion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like in other words, and this helps the flow.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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