IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagrams give information about changes in a student accommodation.

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Differences in
students
Check wording
students'
show examples
 accommodation are shown in
these
Correct determiner usage
the
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 diagrams below.
Overall
Linking Words
,
dormitory
Correct article usage
the dormitory
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
has undergone
show examples
 significant changes in the period of time from 2010 to today
,
Punctuation problem
. These
show examples
this
Linking Words
 changes in
apartment
Correct article usage
the apartment
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lead
Wrong verb form
have led
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 to
great
Correct article usage
a great
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 expansion of space,which can benefit
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students life
Check wording
students' lives
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. In 2010 apartment had 4 bedrooms for adolescents
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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located
Verb problem
were located
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 in opposition
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 each other.
While
Linking Words
general
Correct article usage
the general
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room
Use synonyms
(shared kitchen and lounge) is adjacent to
third
Correct article usage
the third
show examples
 student
room
Use synonyms
,the unknown
room
Use synonyms
(which can
be
Correct word order
also be
show examples
also
Linking Words
 shared) is separated by
wall
Correct article usage
a wall
show examples
with
Change preposition
from the
show examples
 second
ones
Check wording
student
show examples
room
Use synonyms
.Between all bedrooms there is
narrow
Correct article usage
a narrow
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 corridor which ends with
unknown
Correct article usage
an unknown
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room
Use synonyms
. In
real
Correct article usage
a real
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 sense,accommodation has faced great rearrangement.The first thing that catches the eye is that
tiny
Correct article usage
the tiny
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 and uncomfortable corridor
replaced
Verb problem
has been replaced
show examples
 by
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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 communal area with
resting
Correct article usage
a resting
show examples
 zone(it has
two
Use synonyms
 couches and
two
Use synonyms
 televisions),
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 change apartment
started
Verb problem
has started
show examples
 to
be shown
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
 much
more
Rephrase
apply
show examples
bigger.Reduction from four sleeping rooms to
two
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 each
room
Use synonyms
 has
own
Correct determiner usage
its own
show examples
 bathroom
that is
Linking Words
 located next to each bedroom.The other change which added comfort is
study
Correct article usage
the study
show examples
 and laundry
room
Use synonyms
,which
equipped
Verb problem
is equipped
show examples
 with
two
Use synonyms
 washing machines and
two
Use synonyms
 desks for each student.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words room, two with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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