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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these law introduced? Is this a positive or negative trend?

7.5 / 9
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Introduction
In recent decades, a considerable number of changes concerning the relationship between employers and
employees
Use synonyms
 have been enacted by governments.
For instance
Linking Words
, some authorities have introduced legislation that reduces working days for
employees
Use synonyms
;
consequently
Linking Words
, contemporary society is experiencing heightened levels of stress,
while
Linking Words
 a shortage of family time undermines traditional family values. I firmly believe that
this
Linking Words
 is a predominantly positive trend owing to its beneficial effects on both
businesses
Use synonyms
 and individuals.
Body paragraph 1
One of the principal reasons for implementing
such
Linking Words
 laws is the growing prevalence of stress. Governments are expressing concern about residents’ well-being and mental health, given the increasing number of
employees
Use synonyms
 seeking psychological counselling. Another justification for introducing these measures is that family members encounter obstacles to spending leisure time together because of excessive workloads in the office. Policymakers are worried about the erosion of traditional family values and the adverse impact on children’s upbringing.
Therefore
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, adjustments to working hours are essential in order to establish a healthier work-life balance and reduce burnout rates.
Body paragraph 2
Moreover
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, reduced working hours positively affect both
employees
Use synonyms
 and
businesses
Use synonyms
. Workers gain more time for family and rest;
as a result
Linking Words
, happier and healthier
employees
Use synonyms
 tend to be more focused and productive. For
businesses
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 translates into higher efficiency, lower staff turnover, and reduced costs.
For example
Linking Words
, Microsoft Japan’s four-day working week boosted productivity by 40%
while
Linking Words
 cutting electricity costs.
Hence
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, shorter hours create a mutually beneficial outcome: individuals enjoy greater well-being, and companies become more efficient and profitable.
Conclusion
In conclusion, laws that reduce working days are a predominantly positive trend. They alleviate rising stress and safeguard family values,
while
Linking Words
 simultaneously benefiting
businesses
Use synonyms
 through higher productivity and lower costs.
Therefore
Linking Words
, governments should continue supporting
such
Linking Words
 reforms to enhance both people’s well-being and economic efficiency.

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task response
Answer the first question more exactly. Say that these laws stop employers from asking staff to work too long, not only that they reduce working days. This will keep your answer close to the topic.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: stress, family time, and better work. Add one more clear link between long hours and harm, such as poor sleep, illness, or less safe work.
task response
Your example about Microsoft Japan is useful. Make it stronger by saying why this one case may not be the same in every kind of job or country.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, reasons, good effects, and ending. Keep this clear order in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
The first paragraph says that laws reduce working days, but the topic is about limits on working hours. Use the same key idea throughout so the reader does not see a change in meaning.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are very good, such as “Moreover”, “For example”, and “Hence”. You can also use simple links like “This is because” and “As a result” to show the cause and effect more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
The opening sentence is a little broad. Start more directly with the law on work hours and your view. This will make the main point easier to follow from the start.
task response
You answer both parts of the question: why governments make these laws and whether the change is good or bad.
task response
Your view is clear from the opening and stays the same until the end.
task response
You explain benefits for both workers and businesses, which gives your answer a good range of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main focus, and the ideas move in a clear order.
coherence and cohesion
The ending brings together the main points and clearly restates your view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental health
  • employee rights
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • absenteeism
  • exploitation
  • social justice
  • adequate
  • leisure
  • recovery
  • stress levels
  • motivation
  • focused
  • structured
  • manageable
What to do next:
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