IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar charts below shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second year of use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons with relevant.

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The bar chart illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the number of visits to a community website between the first
year
Use synonyms
 and the second
year
Use synonyms
 of use.
Overall
Linking Words
, both
two
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
years experienced similar fluctuation.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the
numbers
Check wording
number
show examples
 of visits in the second
year
Use synonyms
 showed
miserable
Correct article usage
a miserable
show examples
 decline
at the end
Linking Words
 of
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
.
FIrst
Fix capitalization
First
show examples
 of all, the number of visits illustrated the steady fluctuation between under 2500 in
Septemper
Correct your spelling
September
 to 10000 in February.
However
Linking Words
, it showed the significant growth from under 2500 in March to 15000 in August.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, visit numbers in the second
year
Use synonyms
 showed
the sharply
Replace the word
sharp
 growth from under 5000 in September to 17500 in December. But it experienced dramatic fluctuation between 17500 in December
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 10000 in March and 20000 in May. And it reached the peak for over 22500 in June and July,
while
Linking Words
plummeted
Wrong verb form
plummeting
show examples
 to 12500
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • decline
  • trend
  • notable
  • consistent
  • significant
  • contrast
  • stabilize
  • visits
  • community website
  • first year
  • second year
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