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Nowadays online education has become popular as more institutes and companies are offering courses online. However, many people prefer the traditional, classroom training or study. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both methods.

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The increasing number of institutes and companies
,
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 which offer online courses
,
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 has contributed to the growing popularity of online
education
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 in recent years. In spite of
such
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 significant advantages of
this
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 form of learning,
such
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 as flexibility and accessibility, the drawbacks, including a lack of face-to-face interactions and the need for self-discipline, may outweigh the
benefits
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 mentioned above. One of the most significant advantages of online
education
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 is its flexibility. The ability to study at
own
Correct determiner usage
one's own
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 pace and schedule, dedicate personally convenient time to learning and remain relatively independent from the
education
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 processes is highly valued not only by individuals with various personal commitments, but
also
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 by students who work. It is accompanied by accessibility, and these two
benefits
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 complement each other, providing strong arguments for online
education
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.
As a result
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,
education
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 becomes more inclusive and easily accessible, regardless of students’ location or personal schedules. Living in one country
while
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 studying in another and still enjoying all the
benefits
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 and recognition of
such
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education
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 was hard to imagine a couple of decades ago, but now it has become a necessity for the majority of universities.
Nevertheless
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,
such
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 a thing
like
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as
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 the lack
face-to-face
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of face-to-face
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 interactions is being considered as a substantial disadvantage when we perceive universities not only as places to obtain a diploma, but
also
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 as places for socialising and interacting with many people. It is fair to say that the
benefits
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 of face-to-face discussions, instant feedback and social life are a complex and essential part of university life. Placing oneself in an environment full of people pursuing similar goals may surely help to maintain self-discipline, which is quite difficult once one is outside of
this
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 environment. Statistically, students engaged in remote learning
and
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are
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 more likely to encounter procrastination and are
easily
Rephrase
more easily
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 distracted than those attending traditional classroom-based
education
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. In conclusion, both online and offline
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education
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apply
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forms of
education
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 have considerable advantages and disadvantages, allowing students to make a well-reasoned choice based on their individual needs. Distance learning is stressed primarily on individual needs and pace,
whereas
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 traditional
education
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 pursues group engagement and shared
maintaining
Replace the word
maintenance
 of the studying process.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more even way. You write more about online study, but classroom study needs more clear points too.
task response
Add one or two clear examples for each side. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Be careful with the question. It asks for advantages and disadvantages of both methods, so do not mainly argue that one side is better.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good. Keep this shape.
coherence cohesion
Some linking is good, but a few sentences are long and hard to follow. Split long ideas into shorter ones.
coherence cohesion
Make each main point fully explained before moving to the next one. A few points are not developed enough.
task response
You clearly introduce the topic and give the main idea in the first paragraph.
task response
You cover both online education and classroom study, so the answer fits the question.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well organized into paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is clear and brings the essay to an end well.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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