IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that all children should learn a foreign language from the time they start school, while others feel it is better to wait until a child is at secondary school. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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It is considered by some that all
kids
Use synonyms
 should learn
non-native
Correct article usage
a non-native
show examples
language
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 from elementary
school
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 others think it is better to start
at the
Change preposition
in
show examples
 high
school
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will explore both views and argue in favour of the former. On the one hand, some people believe that the best time to start learning
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
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 is when
kids
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 are in high
school
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, pupils are involved in study programs and become more flexible
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 different languages.
For example
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, in
teenage
Correct determiner usage
their teenage
show examples
age
Check wording
years,
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 they have better awareness and flexibility in the
school
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 system. Children are not committed to a heavy study load compared to first years
, at ten-eleven
Punctuation problem
. At ten to eleven
show examples
years
Punctuation problem
years,
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kids
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 are psychologically prepared for a new environment
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 most of them are able to face difficult subjects.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other groups of people agree it is better to learn
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 starting from the first year. I agree with
this
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 statement mainly because
kids
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 are more malleable at
this
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 young age.
For instance
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, since childhood
children
Punctuation problem
, children
show examples
 have better memory,
it
Correct word choice
so it
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 is way easier for
kids
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 to think and work on grammar and correct pronunciation.
Early
Correct article usage
An early
show examples
 start will bring free speech and better critical thinking, usually those do not scare to be incorrect or say something wrong compared to others. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some claim that the best time for
kids
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 to start learning a foreign
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 is during secondary
school
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, I agree with those who believe the best time to start is from elementary
school
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more clear way. Say why each side may be right, then give your view.
task response
Use more clear main ideas in each body part. One main idea, then explain it, then give one good example.
task response
Your examples are a bit general. Add one real and clear example to support each side.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are hard to follow because the meaning is not always clear. Link each sentence to the one before it.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, also, for example, however, and in conclusion.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and clear.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is split into clear parts, so the reader can follow the general plan.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Linguistic proficiency
  • Cultural awareness
  • Enhanced communication skills
  • Neuroplasticity
  • Language acquisition
  • Pedagogical methods
  • Curriculum constraints
  • Workload
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Adaptability
  • Personal experience
  • Critical thinking
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