Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones Why is this the case ? Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays, many
children
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spend several hours a day
in
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on
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their
smartphones
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.
In
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This
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this
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essay will discuss the reasons for
this
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situation and examine both its pros and cons. First of all,
smartphones
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provide easy access for
children
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to explore the internet.
In other words
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,
children
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can play games and use social media platforms.
As a result
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, they can become more aware of the world around them.
In addition
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,
children
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can learn new skills,
such
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as drawing, art, and languages, as many educational online programs and websites are available on
smartphones
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. In fact,
its
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it
show examples
can
also
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provide information about
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children
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children's
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academic subjects and how to improve
the
Correct article usage
their
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learning ability and score in school and university.
However
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, in
long
Correct article usage
the long
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terms
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term,
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children
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will become more likely to be isolated and feel
more lonely
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lonelier
.
For example
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,
children
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nowadays tend to be less socially active in school and
real
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in real
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life.
This
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is because
,
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apply
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smartphones
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reduces face to face communication.
This
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will cause a person to be even
lonely
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lonelier
and lead to not having a social life outside the house.
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Also
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Also,
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children
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become attached to
smartphones
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.
Therefore
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, the
child addictive
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child's addiction
can cause a change in the
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
of the child.
For instance
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, being aggressive towards his family and his friends. In conclusion,
smartphones
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have both positive and negative effects on
children
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.
While
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they can help develop useful skills and increase awareness, they may
also
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lead to isolation if used excessively

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly. You gave reasons and your view, but your view should be stronger from the start.
task response
Add one or two more clear and real examples to support your main ideas.
task response
Explain your ideas a bit more. Some points are good, but they need deeper support.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this shape.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some are good, but a few sentences do not connect smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar, because small errors make your meaning less clear.
task response
You answered both questions in the task.
coherence cohesion
You gave a clear conclusion at the end.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow in most parts.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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