IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that a significant difference between a parent’s age and their child's age is a good thing. Do you think the advantages of a significant age gap outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the modern era,
So
Fix capitalization
so
show examples
 many
peoples
Check wording
people
show examples
 believe that
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 gap between parents and their children is good for their life,
while
Linking Words
 some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
believe that it will
complex
Replace the word
complicate
 the relationship.
Linking Words
however
Fix capitalization
However
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 essay will prove
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 and cons of
this
Linking Words
. On one hand,
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
 the gap between
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 two is major,
parent's
Check wording
parents
show examples
 are more
financial
Replace the word
financially
 stable
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they can give their
child
Use synonyms
's good education and better opportunity.
In contrast
Linking Words
, they both have
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 views about social media,
politician
Replace the word
political
 opinion and lifestyle, which
is affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 their relationship most of the time.
Also
Linking Words
, because of the older
age
Use synonyms
 of their mom and
dad
Add a comma
dad,
show examples
 they always have to take care of them
eveytime
Correct your spelling
every time
, which is distrabance for
Use synonyms
child
Correct article usage
the child
show examples
. They may
be
Rephrase
not be
show examples
can't
Correct your spelling
able to
 focus on their daily life, which
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 disturbance.
For example
Linking Words
,
Survey
Correct article usage
a survey
show examples
 from 2019, their is 53% of kids suffering from
down
Fix capitalization
Down
show examples
 syndrome because of
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 of may peoples in their
house
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
 the mother and father are at the minimum
age
Use synonyms
,
bond
Correct article usage
the bond
show examples
 between them is way stronger
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to older
age
Use synonyms
 guardians. They are more
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 friends and understand
eachother's
Correct your spelling
each other's
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of
views
Check wording
view
show examples
 easily. Mom and dad can see their
child
Use synonyms
's successful
event's
Check wording
events
show examples
 and marriage-life and even their grandchildren's
born
Replace the word
birth
, which is not possible for older
age
Use synonyms
 parent's.
Linking Words
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 addition,
son
Correct article usage
a son
show examples
 or daughter can share eveything what is going on
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 life.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
old
Correct article usage
an old
show examples
 person only gives financial stability to their
child
Use synonyms
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
they
Correct word choice
so they
show examples
 can gain anything
whithout
Correct your spelling
without
 any compromise. Alternatively,
youger
Correct your spelling
younger
 parents are more
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 besties with their son or daughter.

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first part and keep the same view all through the essay.
task response
Explain each main idea more. Say why it is good or bad, not only what it is.
task response
Use examples that are clear and fit the topic. Do not use facts that look unsure.
coherence cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph and make the order easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a careful way. Some are used well, but some parts still feel hard to follow.
coherence cohesion
Check that each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
task response
You talk about both good and bad sides of the age gap.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You try to use linking words like 'On one hand' and 'To sum up'.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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