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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Internet shops will take over physical stores. Do you agree or disagree?

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In
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 modern era, almost everything is possible only if you have an internet connection, including online shopping. Some
people
Use synonyms
 enjoy shopping on the internet because they want to choose the best option for themselves, in terms of both prices and styles.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to go shopping at a physical shop to be able to experience the details of the product. In my opinion, I completely agree that online shopping is more beneficial than and can replace offline shopping
some day
Correct your spelling
someday
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, online shopping is very convenient, especially for homebodies.
This
Linking Words
 is because online shopping does not require you to go outside and face traffic congestion. With online purchases, everything can be done within a few clicks, meaning that you can fix yourself on a couch, waiting for anything you have ordered to be delivered right at your door.
Secondly
Linking Words
, online shopping saves you a great deal of travelling costs. To elaborate, as mentioned earlier, shopping online allows you to stay put in your house and
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 still able to make purchases.
This
Linking Words
 means that it is not necessary to travel to any brick-and-mortar stores to buy a needed item. So,
instead
Linking Words
 of spending on both travelling and purchasing products, online shopping saves you the
former
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
cost
.
Change preposition
of travelling.
show examples
Finally
Linking Words
, online shopping can save a lot of time. To clarify,
people
Use synonyms
 do not need to go to many stores to find what they want.
Instead
Linking Words
, they can search through a number of online platforms within a few minutes and buy everything in a few clicks.
In contrast
Linking Words
, shopping at a physical shop takes more time because
people
Use synonyms
 have to walk around different shops to buy their goods. In conclusion, I strongly agree that online shopping can replace physical stores in the
future
Punctuation problem
future,
show examples
 since even though physical shops allow
people
Use synonyms
 to experience real products, online shopping is still a better choice because it is more convenient, cost-saving, and time-saving.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear, but it does not fully discuss the other side. Add one short point about why physical stores may still stay important, then show why you still agree.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are relevant, but they are quite general. Add more specific support, such as a real example about buying clothes, food, or phones online.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear paragraph plan. To make it stronger, use linking words more carefully and avoid repeating the same pattern in every body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some sentences are not smooth or correct, such as 'allows you to stay put in your house and are still able'. Check sentence form so each idea is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, topic sentences are clear, but some points need deeper explanation. After each main point, explain how and why it leads to stores being replaced.
task response
For task response, you answer the question directly and your opinion is clear from the introduction to the end.
task response
For task response, your main points are relevant to the topic: ease, lower cost, and less time.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow because it has an introduction, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you use simple linking words like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Finally', and 'In conclusion' well enough to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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