IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You have heard that your company is organising a language training abroad for a limited number of participants. Write a letter of interest state your position in the company explain why they should include you in the training Explain how training could benefit you and your company.

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to inform
about
Correct pronoun usage
you about
show examples
 my opinion on a language training abroad. First of all, my position is manager at sales department. I have been developing my team members.
That is
Linking Words
 why I am good at managing and persuading many workers. To be frank with you, I would like to join it to improve my
English
Use synonyms
 skills. Indeed, I was in America for a year when I was 18 years old.
Thus
Linking Words
, I have good
English
Use synonyms
 skills;
however
Linking Words
, my
English
Use synonyms
 is not enough to communicate with foreign customers.
That is
Linking Words
 why if I am included as a member, I could work overseas.
In addition
Linking Words
, I would teach some
English
Use synonyms
 to my team members or coworkers anytime.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I would make a contract with foreign customers easily. I would appreciate it if you could reply to my message as soon as possible. Yours sincerely, Kazuya Nakagawa

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but some ideas need more detail. Say more about how the course will help your work in the company.
task response
Task response: The tone is mostly polite, but some lines are not fully formal. Use more formal phrases like 'I would like to express my interest' and 'I believe I would be a suitable candidate.'
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear start, middle, and end. But some links are weak. Use simple link words like 'also', 'because', and 'therefore' in a more natural way.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Keep one main point in each paragraph. For example, one paragraph for your job, one for why you should go, and one for benefits to you and the company.
task response
Task response: You cover your job, why you want to go, and how the training can help you and the company.
task response
Task response: Your purpose is clear, and the reader can understand your interest in the training.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The greeting and closing are correct and polite.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The ideas are in a clear order, so the letter is easy to follow.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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