While mobile phones have many advantages a number of problems have also resulted from them or the ways in which they are used. What are some of those problems? What solutions can you suggest for solving these problems.

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In recent years, many people cannot live without their cell
phones
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, but
beside
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besides
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some of the merits of
this
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device, there are some underlying factors
and
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that
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may lead to serious consequences if not
adressed
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addressed
. One of the primarily causes of the
issue
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, life is mobile-centric where kids and old people use fulfilling their daily technological and basic needs with using their
phones
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. So, overuse of that device can lead to serious health problems,
such
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as cancer, hearing problems and lack of hyperactivity around children.
Furthermore
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,
important
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an important
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issue
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which is caused
with
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apply
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this
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issue
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by
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phones is,
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this issue
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this
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device is getting children's virtual life rather than a real one.
For example
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, lots of teens and children use their mobile devices for several hours, they use social
medias
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media
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for hours and
scrolling
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scroll through
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videos,
while
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their family and friends are beside them. To address
this
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issue
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, several measures can be implemented.
Firstly
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, the most fundamental way to control and reduce the adverse impact of cellphones is to limit their usage.
For example
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, parents, friends and elderly people can talk to them, provide them with some reasonable advice.
Secondly
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, making individuals practice a healthy way of using mobile
phones
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from a younger age can be effective could
also
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be an effective approach. By doing so, if students are imposed to follow a proper method of handling
phones
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, they will continue to follow
this
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etiquettes
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etiquette
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even
they
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when they
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became
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become
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older. If these solutions are applied properly, the problem can be significantly alleviated. In conclusion, misuse and overuse of everything like cell
phones
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can obscure
,
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apply
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so many benefits that these gadgets can have
and
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, and
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from my perspective of view, by managing the way of using
them
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them,
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we can take
the
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apply
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advantage of them as much as possible.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You name problems and solutions, but some ideas are not fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. One paragraph for problems and one for solutions is good, but each point needs better support.
task response
Give more clear examples. Your example about children using social media is relevant, but it needs more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with simple words like first, also, for example, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence is easy to follow. Some sentences are too long or not clear, so the reader may get lost.
task response
You answer both the problems and the solutions, so you address the full task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You give at least one real example about children and teens using phones for many hours.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • advantages
  • problems
  • solutions
  • distractions
  • health
  • social isolation
  • community
  • addiction
  • interaction
  • productivity
  • attention
  • excessive
  • breaks
  • promote
  • users
  • awareness
  • well-being
  • management
  • effective
  • strains
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