IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Imprisonment is nothing more than a punishment. At the end of their sentence, offenders are released only to reoffend almost immediately. Society needs an alternative way of dealing with crime. To what extent do you agree with this claim?

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Many
people
Use synonyms
 agree
imprisonment
Correct word choice
that imprisonment
show examples
 is nothing more than a punishment. I agree
people
Use synonyms
 do something dangerous like armed robbery, attempted murder or possession of drugs they have to go to jail with another consequences like pay and take a warning or maybe to promise he wouldn’t do it, and it depends about what is
country
Use synonyms
 they do
this
Linking Words
 crime because every
country
Use synonyms
 have different role, whatever all countries they need them
country
Use synonyms
 the most safty they have put strongest rule and judging. I disagree that
people
Use synonyms
 do something simple like
burglary
Replace the word
burglarising
 food or
midicen
Correct your spelling
medicine
 for
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves or their
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 family because they are broke
I
Punctuation problem
. I
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think for judge them police or government
look
Verb problem
should look
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 after them and give them a job to help
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
. In
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in addition
Linking Words
to
Punctuation problem
,
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 they
be
Verb problem
would be
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usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 to
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
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country
Use synonyms
 and help
government
Correct article usage
the government
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. In
summary
Punctuation problem
summary,
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 judge
country
Use synonyms
 all
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
countries
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 need it
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they hope to be from these
country
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in addition
Linking Words
 to be strongest
if
Punctuation problem
. If
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 they do something dangerous
to
Punctuation problem
,
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 all
people
Use synonyms
be
Verb problem
should be
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 afraid, and
also
Linking Words
 government should try to help poor
people
Use synonyms
 and give them
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to live
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 life and not only punish them.

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task response
Make your main answer very clear in the first part. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this same answer all the way.
task response
Add one clear main idea in each body part, then explain it more. Now some ideas are short and not fully clear.
task response
Use examples with simple detail. For example, say why prison is needed for violent crime and why help is better for poor people who steal food.
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a clearer order: intro, body 1, body 2, conclusion. This will make the essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, however, because, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check each sentence so the meaning is clear. Some parts are hard to understand, so the reader may get lost.
task response
You answer the topic and give your opinion.
task response
You talk about both serious crime and crime from need, so your ideas are relevant.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a beginning, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use linking ideas like in addition and in summary.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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