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Band 6.5

The Table Below Shows the Results of Surveys in 2000, 2005 and 2010 About One University.

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The table charts let us know the results of Surveys in 2000, 2005
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 2010 About One University.
we
Fix capitalization
We
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 will summarise the most
importantly
Correct word choice
important
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 points from the table.
Firstly
Linking Words
 , technical quality it was around 65% in 2000
while
Linking Words
 increasing in 2010 to be 69 persons. The
most
Rephrase
apply
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biggest
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in the table
when it
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
was
Change preposition
in 2000
show examples
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
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 it's print resources it was 87% .
Linking Words
while
Fix capitalization
While
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 the lowest number is
range
Correct article usage
the range
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 of models
offered
Punctuation problem
offered,
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 it was around 32%.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the stay in 77% an all years from 2000, 2005 and 2010
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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was the building / teaching facilities .
Electronic
Correct article usage
The electronic
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 resource
it's increase
Wrong verb form
has increased
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 to 88% when it was 45% in 2000.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it's decreasing in the range of models offered to be 27% in 2010. In conclusion, the most important point about the students giving good ratings of different aspects of a university
it's decreasing
Wrong verb form
it decreased
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 and
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 in 2000, 2005
Correct word choice
, and
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also
Linking Words
 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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