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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that planning for the future is a waste of time. They believe it is more important to focus on the present. Do you agree or disagree?

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Many
people
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 believe that planning for the
future
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 is unnecessary
,
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apply
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 because focusing on the present is more crucial. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view, as a lack of planning may result in serious
problem
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problems
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 in the long-term The major advantage of planning for the
future
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 is that it may help
individuals
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 prevent unexpected risks. When
people
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 plan for the
future
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, the first thing they will probably do is research what they are planning to do
,
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 and take into account every single detail.
Therefore
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, simple planning may help
individuals
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 to ensure a positive outcome.
For instance
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, if someone goes on a trip to a foreign country without a plan, the possibility of them getting into some trouble increases
,
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 compared to someone who has planned in advance. Another significant benefit of
this
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 practice is that
individuals
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 may have a clear vision of their
future
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. Planning for the
future
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 is an essential thing for everyone. The reason for
this
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 is that it may help
people
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 to understand where they will be in the
future
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.
Moreover
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, it may reduce
individuals
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’ anxiety, as they will not have to worry about potential unexpected problems
such
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 as unemployment.
For example
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, before graduating
university
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from university
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, students have to choose their
future
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 workplace or another path
,
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apply
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 to ensure successful employment. In conclusion, the view that
individuals
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 should focus on the present more than the
future
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 is completely misguided.
Instead
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,
people
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 should consider their
future
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 life by making arrangements. Planning for the
future
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 helps
people
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 in many ways and will always be beneficial.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part. Put the first sentence, then explain it, then give one strong example.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words with more care. Some parts repeat the same idea, so the flow is not always smooth.
task achievement
Answer the question in a more full way. You disagree, but you can also say why some people focus on the present.
task achievement
Give more specific examples. Your examples are good, but they are still a bit general.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Your position is clear from the start: you disagree.
task achievement
Most ideas stay on topic and support your main answer.
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