IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart illustrates the
quantities
Check wording
number
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 of adults joining in various major sports in 1997 and 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, in
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 two years, Tennis contain a highest amount of adults.
Whereas
Linking Words
, Basketball and Cricket have
a
Correct article usage
their
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 lowest in 1997 and 2017, respectively. Swimming indicates
the
Correct article usage
apply
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equal information in both years.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Football and Rugby were similar to each other
obviously
Punctuation problem
, obviously
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. In 1997, Tennis started at the highest
of
Check wording
point of
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 the chart
as
Change preposition
with
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 50
Use synonyms
thousands
Replace the word
thousand
people
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Basketball began with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 number of 9
Use synonyms
thousands
Check wording
thousand
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people
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the others
Linking Words
such as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
were
in
Change preposition
on
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 average
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
25 to 35
Use synonyms
thousands
Check wording
thousand
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. Golf and Rugby were
totally at
Change preposition
in
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 the same state
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 was approximately 30
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
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people
Use synonyms
. In 2017, Football and Rugby were actually equivalent to each other, which can be seen
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the number of 48
Use synonyms
thousands
Check wording
thousand
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
This
Linking Words
 year, Tennis gently increased to 55
Use synonyms
thousands
Check wording
thousand
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 and Basketball dramatically rose to 22
Use synonyms
thousands
Check wording
thousand
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. But Cricket plummeted to 7
Use synonyms
thousands
Check wording
thousand
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words thousands, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rate
  • increase/decrease in numbers
  • trend
  • decade
  • relatively stable
  • major sports
  • potential reasons
  • contributing factors
  • public interest
  • comparison
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