It is good for senior managers to have much higher salaries than workers in other companies or organisations. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a view that senior directors should receive more lucrative salaries than ordinary workers. I completely agree with

this

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opinion, as they possess superior qualifications and greater work

experience

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. The first reason I agree with

this

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view is that

executives

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hold higher job

positions

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and have a deeper understanding of job challenges. People in top-level management do not

reachhigher

Correct your spelling

reach

these

positions

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easily. They go through the same stages as ordinary workers, so I believe lower-level

employees

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also

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need

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

to follow

path

Correct article usage

the path

show examples

and gain more

experience

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As a result

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, by working

properly

Punctuation problem

properly,

show examples

employees

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can achieve higher

positions

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and receive financial rewards.

For example

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, many companies today use

this

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strategy when determining salaries, and

this

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method encourages staff to work more effectively.

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contrast

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contrast,

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older senior staff members eventually retire. Another reason is that chief

executives

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bear greater responsibility and complexity.

people

Fix capitalization

People

show examples

in leadership

positions

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have more responsibilities when facing difficult challenges because they have more

experience

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this

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field.

Therefore

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, they know how to solve

Linking Words

this

Fix the agreement mistake

these

show examples

problems effectively.

Consequently

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employees

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can learn from

executives

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by gaining

experience

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and working with them.

For instance

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, many companies attach ordinary workers to chief

executives

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so that they can learn important skills and understand how to reach higher

positions

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However

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, some senior directors may not want to teach

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apply

show examples

lower-level

employees

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because

maybe

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apply

show examples

they are afraid that

about

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apply

show examples

these

employees

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might take their

positions

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. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the idea that people in top-level management have disproportionate earnings. Not only does

this

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allow businesses to foster ambition and progression, but it

also

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contributes to higher productivity.

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task response

Answer the question more directly. Say why you fully agree, and also show why some people may think the other side is true.

task response

Make each main idea very clear. Start each body paragraph with one strong point, then explain it step by step.

task response

Use examples that are more real and clear. Your examples are linked to the topic, but they are still general.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas more smoothly. Some parts jump too fast, so the reader must work hard to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Check sentence order inside paragraphs. A few ideas repeat, and some lines do not fully connect to the main point.

coherence and cohesion

Use simple linking words well, like first, also, for example, and as a result, but do not repeat them too much.

task response

You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and keep it to the end.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear basic shape: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.

task response

You give reasons for your view, not only your opinion.

coherence and cohesion

You use paragraphing, which helps the reader follow your ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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It is good for senior managers to have much higher salaries than workers in other companies or organisations. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, students take a year off finishing school should students take a gap year before attending university? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Many aspects of the way people dress today are influenced by global fashion trends. How has global fashion become such a strong influence on people's lives? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Write a letter to your favourite restaurant. Include the following: - Your reason for writing - What you like about the restaurant - Suggestions for improvement

The natural resources such as oil, forests and fresh water are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problem does it cause? How can we solve these problems?

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Angsa