The graph shows average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010.

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The given graph demonstrates
a
Correct article usage
the
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yearly profits
on
Change preposition
from
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the mobile
phone
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and residential
phone
Use synonyms
in the United States between 2001 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the USA people
consume
Verb problem
spend
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a huge amount of money on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cell
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cell phones
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phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
indicator dramatically
felt down
Verb problem
fell
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on the residential
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
within the given timeframe. In terms of
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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the USA people used up 200$ in the initial period on the cell
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
but
Fix capitalization
But
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this
Linking Words
figure skyrocketed and climbed to 500$ in 2006 and intersected
to
Change preposition
apply
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the residential
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
progress.
Then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
index reached to 800$ in the ultimate period and showed the highest development. Looking at the details of the residential
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
, people tend to spend 700$ in the beginning of time and
was observed a significant decline
Correct word order
a significant decline was observed
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
pointer stood at 400$ in the end of
period
Correct article usage
the period
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. These contrasting trends highlight how modern communication preferences shifted significantly towards mobile technology over the decade."

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words phone, services with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual expenditures
  • cell phone services
  • residential phone services
  • steady increase
  • steady decrease
  • comparison
  • milestones
  • technological advancements
  • trends
  • speculating
  • paraphrasing
  • overview
  • notable changes
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