IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table and charts below gve information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money come from and the charts show how it was distributed.

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The given table and charts
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 that
Police
Correct article usage
the Police
show examples
 budget from 2017 to 2018, with the table indicating the source of
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
 and the charts exhibiting how the money was spent.
Overall
Linking Words
,
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
buget
Correct your spelling
budget
 for police slightly increased
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the proportion of salaries of officers and staff declined over the period. There is an increase of police
buget
Correct your spelling
budget
 from 304.7 million pounds to 318.6 million pounds in the given period.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, every source of the
buget
Correct your spelling
budget
 rose, with the
most
Correct word choice
largest
show examples
 increase in Local taxes from 91.2m to 102.3m,
while
Linking Words
 other sources
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 similar around 38m.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, change can be seen in the percentage of budget distribution
druing
Correct your spelling
during
 the span. Salaries accounted for a quarter in 2017,
while
Linking Words
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
show examples
 declined to under 70%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, that of technology started
just
Change preposition
at just
show examples
 8% almost doubled in 2018.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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