IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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With the advancement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern technology, the modes of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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transportation have changed
over the period dramatically
Correct word order
dramatically over the period
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. Once,
railways
Use synonyms
 were considered to be the dominant mode of communication
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
has been
Wrong verb form
was later
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 replaced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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roads
Use synonyms
later
Rephrase
apply
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. Considering
the
Correct article usage
apply
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some issues
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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comfortability
Replace the word
comfort
, maintenance costs and environmental effects, I think authorities should allocate more money in
this
Linking Words
 sector.  I prefer
railways
Use synonyms
 as a way of transportation for some specific reasons. First of all, its advantages are well known to all the common
people
Use synonyms
 of our country.
For example
Linking Words
, you can travel
very
Correct article usage
a very
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 long distance with minimum cost by
trains
Correct subject-verb agreement
train
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.
Then
Linking Words
, they
disposes
Correct subject-verb agreement
dispose
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 less Carbon dioxides than buses, cars
etc
Punctuation problem
, etc
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in rails,
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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 number of commuters can be carried
out
Rephrase
apply
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in a single trip. Now, let's explain my reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 supporting public expenditure in
this
Linking Words
 sector. We know
state
Correct article usage
the state
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 always holds a
welfare oriented
Correct your spelling
welfare-oriented
 motto for its citizens.
Contrary
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On the contrary
show examples
, private enterprises aim for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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profitability only. As governement do not have any
such
Linking Words
moto
Correct your spelling
motto
, they go for the best
cost effective
Correct your spelling
cost-effective
 mode of transportation for the general
people
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the maintenance costs are always higher
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
roads
Use synonyms
 than
Use synonyms
railways
Change preposition
for railways
show examples
. Government need to work keeping in mind the cost-benefit analysis. Anyway, there are some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who want to use
roads
Use synonyms
 and advocate
otherwise
Linking Words
. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they want to use their own private cars. There are more available options and flexibility in the
roads
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 can avail buses
any
Change preposition
at any
show examples
 time whenever they want to travel anywhere.  After all, it can be encapsulated that
having
Correct word choice
, despite having
show examples
 some
limitations
Punctuation problem
limitations,
show examples
 I firmly believe that our government should provide more budget
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
railways
Use synonyms
. It gives the best journey experience for any
travellers
Fix the agreement mistake
traveller
show examples
. Particularly, it has emerged as the best transport for the
low income
Correct your spelling
low-income
 generating
people
Use synonyms
 in our country.

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task response
Give a more clear answer to the question in the first part. Say if you agree fully or partly, and keep this same view all through the essay.
task response
Add more clear support for each main point. Some ideas are good, but they need more detail and a fuller explanation.
task response
Use one or two real and clear examples. This will make your ideas stronger and more easy to trust.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part focus on one main idea only. This will help the essay feel more ordered.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some joining words are used, but a few parts still feel sudden or not fully connected.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and word choice, because some lines are hard to follow. Clear lines help the reader understand your meaning fast.
task response
You answer the main topic and give your opinion. This is a good start for task response.
task response
You include both sides of the issue before giving your final view. This shows you can look at more than one side.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion. This gives it a clear overall shape.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like first of all, moreover, and after all. This helps guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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