IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Now people in many countries can live and work anywhere they choose with improved communication technology and transport. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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People
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 can choose to
work
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 and live anywhere with technology and transport improvements in many countries.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that communication through the internet could impact facial recognition, I strongly believe that there are more benefits to everyone. The most significant advantage is that remote
work
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 can save commuting time for employees. Since
people
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 have the right to choose their
working place
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workplace
, they can
work
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 at home.
As a result
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, when they go to
work
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, they not only avoid traffic congestion
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 avoid the effects of car accidents.
Therefore
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, remote
work
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 can let them have more time to focus on their job.
In addition
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, online meetings can communicate with
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
 from different countries, which improves working efficiency.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
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 claim that working through the internet makes it difficult to observe facial expression and body language,
it might affect
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which might affect people's ability
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people
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 to
recognize
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recognise
show examples
 emotions.
However
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,
people
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 communicate with their families or
neighborhoods
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neighbourhoods
show examples
 in daily small talk
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 these regular interactions can help
people
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 to overcome the problem by tone of voice.
Consequently
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, communication online has limited impacts for emotion recognition. The drawback of technology advancement is relatively minor and does not outweigh the
benefit
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benefits
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, and remote
work
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 can bring more flexible
work
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 for employees. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 somebody said that there are detrimental effects for
people
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 who
work
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 online anywhere, I still maintain that remote
work
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 can make employees save their time and increase working efficiency.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part. One body part should focus on one main point.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words with care. Some links are good, but a few ideas do not join in a smooth way.
task achievement
Add one or two clear examples to support your points. This will make your answer stronger.
task achievement
Explain the disadvantage more directly, then show why the advantage is still greater.
task achievement
Stay close to the topic. The point about facial recognition is not fully clear for this question.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay gives both sides and your own view is clear.
task achievement
The first body part has a clear benefit: saving travel time.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Remote work
  • Geographical constraints
  • Global understanding
  • Socio-economic disparities
  • Carbon footprint
  • Work-life balance
  • Brain drain
  • Economic disparity
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Environmental costs
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