Online learning is replacing traditional classroom education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Technology has significantly changed the way people access
education
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.
it
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It
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is widely believed that online learning is increasing in modern
education
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. I completely agree with the statement that nowadays everyone have gadjets ,
as a result
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, it becomes more comfortable for studying. One important reason is that students can save the lessons.
For instance
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,
learner
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a learner
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may be
busy
Rephrase
too busy
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to attend a class , but they can get it in
free
Correct determiner usage
their free
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time.
This
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is because online lessons are recorded.
As a result
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,pupils not only have access
the
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to the
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lessons at any time but
also
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go over
again
Correct pronoun usage
them again
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.
Secondly
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, online learning gives more choice in place. Somе people can not study in
classroom
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a classroom
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because of their health disorder. In
this
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case, they are able to learn at home, in the hospital and where they feel comfortable.
This
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is very helpful for people with psychological and health problems. To
summarize
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summarise
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, these days online
education
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is more popular
rather
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apply
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than traditional classroom teaching. I fully agree that it provides more convenience
to study
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for studying
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. In my opinion population should gradually adapt to a new form of
education
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system.

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task response
Answer the full question more clearly. The task asks 'to what extent' you agree or disagree. You say you fully agree, but you do not explain why classroom learning may still matter.
task response
Give one more clear main idea. Now you have two points, but they are quite simple. Add one more strong reason or explain each point more.
task response
Use examples with more detail. Your example about missed lessons is good, but it needs a fuller situation and result.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph easier to follow. Start with one clear topic sentence, then explain, then give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words in a smooth way, like 'First', 'Also', 'For example', and 'As a result'. Some links are there, but a few sentences feel abrupt.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence connection and grammar because small errors make the flow less clear.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and keep it to the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic clear structure: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas, especially about recorded lessons and study from home.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexible schedule
  • learn at their own pace
  • save time
  • face-to-face interaction
  • social skills
  • direct support
  • hands-on experience
  • practical subjects
  • access to education
  • mixed approach
  • self-discipline
  • technical problems
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