Medical professionals such as doctors and nurses from poorer countries often migrate to richer countries to world. What PROBLEMS ARISE FROM THIS SITUATION? What Measures can be taken to deal with it?

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There is no denying the fact that nowadays most of
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
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staffs including doctors and nurese are moving from low in come
countries
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to high in come
countries
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.
This
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essay will discuss the causes of
this
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trend and potential solutions to tackle
this
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problem.
To begin
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with, there are many problems
happen
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that happen
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once medical professionals take the
descion
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decision
to migrate.
Firstly
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, it will lead to a
collapse
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collapsed
health
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system
of low
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apply
show examples
in
come
Correct word choice
low-income
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countries
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. It is
also
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possible to say that as professionals
move
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move,
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there will be a high decrease within number of doctors and nurses in the poor
countires
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countries
.
In addition
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, the majority of new
imgarte
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image
professionals might suffer from exhaustion,
health
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issue
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issues
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, and career pressure.
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This
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It
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is possible to say that they have to adapt to the new environment require a
substanital
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substantial
amount of time to
allowing
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allow
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them to get
engage
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engaged
show examples
and become part of
this
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culture. In terms of solutions to tackle
this
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obstacle
like
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, such as
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increasing
the
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their
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salaries
for them
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apply
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by offering
a
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apply
show examples
support
for
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to
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poor
countries
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who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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can not
pay out for
Verb problem
afford
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medical
professional
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professionals
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.
Moreover
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, we need to give them some benefits like
health
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insurance and offer retirement plans to help secure their occupations.
For example
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, when world
health
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organizations
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organisations
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allocated a specific budget to support
health
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systems for different
countries
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same
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, such as
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Somalia
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
health
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systems improved and
result
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resulted
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in migrations
for
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of
show examples
health
Use synonyms
care
provider
Check wording
providers
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. Con: In conclusion, there are many problems of medical professional migrate which affect whole
health
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stysems
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systems
that
unltimately
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ultimately
collapse and mental
health
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issues for new
migrate
Replace the word
migrant
medical staff. It is
also
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true that
this
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problem can be
address
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addressed
show examples
by providing them with their needs and
support
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supporting
show examples
them along the way.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly: say what the problems are, and then say what steps can help.
task response
Use more clear main ideas in each body part. One body part for problems, one body part for steps is good, but each point needs more support.
task response
Give one or two simple and real examples that fit your ideas well.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with simple words like first, also, as a result, and finally.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow. Keep sentences shorter and more direct.
task response
You answered the topic and wrote about both problems and steps.
task response
You included an example about support from world health groups.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The order of ideas is mostly easy to see.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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