Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →

Some people argue that higher study plays an important role in attaining

the

Correct article usage

show examples

successful

Use synonyms

career

Punctuation problem

career,

show examples

while

Linking Words

other believes that

on-job

Correct determiner usage

on-the-job

show examples

experience would be more practical for

Use synonyms

career

Correct article usage

a career

show examples

However

Linking Words

, I strongly opine that formal

education

Use synonyms

is necessary

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

without

that

Add a comma

that,

show examples

it is difficult to pursue

Linking Words

such

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

professions like medicine and engineering.

This

Linking Words

essay will examine both the perspective and end with

the

Correct article usage

show examples

conclusion. University

education

Use synonyms

is a

scientific

Replace the word

scientifically

proven model because it follows

the

Correct article usage

show examples

structured model,

Correct word choice

and it

show examples

is designed in a way to train

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

students among the different subjects over a period of time. Where different kinds of subjects have been taught to prepare

individual

Check wording

individuals

show examples

for

stable

Correct article usage

a stable

show examples

future. A Successful

career

Use synonyms

demands a over all development to deal

the

Change preposition

with

show examples

instances like finance, technology and law.

For example

Linking Words

, if a person has been trained in a particular field where

college

Use synonyms

is not a

pre-requisite

Correct your spelling

prerequisite

person

Correct article usage

the person

show examples

might

unable

Verb problem

be unable

show examples

to handle other tasks other than his trade and

other

Correct determiner usage

another

show examples

person may trick him very easily.

Linking Words

Therefore

Punctuation problem

Therefore,

show examples

formal

education

Use synonyms

must be required before following any

career

Use synonyms

. Occupations like medicine and engineering require extensive study for their specialisations. It would be so risky

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

many factors would be

Change preposition

show examples

stake if we allow individuals to pursue the profession without having

the

Correct article usage

show examples

structured degree.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

a health practitioner needs to be academically sound before treating someone.

Therefore

Linking Words

college

Use synonyms

education

Use synonyms

must

Correct article usage

a must

show examples

before pursuing any

career

Use synonyms

Career

Use synonyms

offered

Replace the word

opportunities

after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

college

Use synonyms

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

not great

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

most of them

associated

Verb problem

are associated

show examples

with service sectors

such

Linking Words

as cleaning, restaurants and labourer and

does

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not offer

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

great pay. In conclusion, formal

education

Use synonyms

is still necessary for us and

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

greater contributions toward the

career

Use synonyms

because it is scientifically designed. Careers offered before

college

Use synonyms

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

not so rewarding.

eeedahiya

May 4, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Answer both sides more fully. You talk more about study, but you give only a very short view about work after school.

coherence and cohesion

Give clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. One paragraph should have one main point, then explain it well.

task response

Use better examples. The doctor example is relevant, but other examples are too general.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas in a simpler and clearer way. Some sentences are hard to follow because the order of ideas is not smooth.

task response

Make your opinion clear from start to end and support it with reasons, not only broad claims.

task response

You give a clear opinion in the introduction and keep the same view in the conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear basic shape: introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

task response

You use one relevant example about medicine to support your point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

287 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Academic qualifications
Specialized skills
In-depth knowledge
Personal growth
Social development
Practical experience
Financial independence
Career progression
Professional networking
Education
Work experience
Successful career
Personal interests
Career goals
Decision-making process

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
n many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Statistics show that the world's population is increasing rapidly. It is expected that most of us will be living in cities within the next few decades. The question of whether urbanisation is a positive or negative development remains controversial.
8
band
In many countries nowadays, people in big cities prefer to live alone or in small family units rather than larger, extended family groups. Is it a positive or negative trend?
The number of people opting to reside in small apartments by themselves has been steadily increasing. While some argue that the disadvantages of this trend outweigh its merits, I firmly believe that it is a positive development as it signifies positive personal growth and economic development.
7.5
band
in some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In some traditions, kids are often told that they should try hard enough if they want to achieve anything. While there are some clear benefits to this development, it also brings several notable drawbacks. This essay will examine both sides of the issue.
6.5
band
Some people think that using mobile phones and computers has a negative effect on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying the fact that technology has had a negative impact on young people ,especially in reading and writing skills. While it is a commonly held belief that using mobile and other devices could have harmful effects on teenagers, there is also an argument that opposes it.
7
band
Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
The world has become a global village where people share the same interests and follow the same trends in terms of shopping and fashion. Regardless of their residence, an increasing number of individuals can purchase similar items and goods around the globe. However, I believe this tendency harbors only negative implications rather than positive ones.

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.

n many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries nowadays, people in big cities prefer to live alone or in small family units rather than larger, extended family groups. Is it a positive or negative trend?

in some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people think that using mobile phones and computers has a negative effect on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?