some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertainment and ecological important. Discuss both views

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Many
people
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go to the zoo to see the
animals
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. Most think
animals
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can live
long time
Replace the word
longer
than survibe wild envieronment but some
people
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think that
to keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
show examples
animals
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in
zoos
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is wrong.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both views and
explan
Correct your spelling
explain
why I believe
animals
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live
Wrong verb form
living
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in
zoos
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is
more safity
Replace the word
safer
and
profit
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more profitable
.
First,
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people
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who disagree that
animals
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live in the zoo think
animals
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lost their
idendity
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identity
.
when
Fix capitalization
When
show examples
animals
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live in nature
envieroment
Correct your spelling
environment
, they make a home, find the food, and survibe but if they live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
zoos
Punctuation problem
zoos,
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they will not try to
survibe
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survive
. that
animals
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will
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
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their
personal
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personality
and
color
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colour
show examples
.
Second,
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animals
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who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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live in
zoos
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will get
stress
Replace the word
stressed
.
they
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They
show examples
need to take
a
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apply
show examples
time to rest
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
the
comsumers
Correct your spelling
consumers
see what they do and
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
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noise and
disturb
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disturbs
show examples
animals
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to rest
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from resting
show examples
. They will get
the stress
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stressed
and have a strange attitude.
On the other hand
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,
people
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belive
Correct your spelling
believe
animals
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can save. I agree
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this
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with this
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opinion
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
if
animals
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stay in
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zoos
Punctuation problem
zoos,
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they don't need to worry about food, house.
For example
Linking Words
.
Punctuation problem
,
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one news
argue
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argues that
show examples
animals
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live
zoos
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is better than live nature
part
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apply
show examples
.
Next,
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people
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can make a profit.
when
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When
show examples
the
zoos
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build
Wrong verb form
are built
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, many consumers will come and buy the tickets.
For example
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, the pandas
are
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were
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popular in
korea
Fix capitalization
Korea
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two years ago. Many
people
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want to see the pandas ,so the
ticket's ammount
Correct your spelling
ticket amount
is growing during that year
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
zoos
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sell
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
panda goods. It can make a
big
Correct word choice
high
show examples
income to employer. In conclusion,
zoos
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exist
Verb problem
face
show examples
problems from some
people
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so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
it looks like build the
animals
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
if
zoos
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protect
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animals
Check wording
animal
show examples
wildlife and provide welfare standards.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Say why each side thinks this, then give your view in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea very clear in each body part. Start each part with one clear topic sentence.
task response
Add more support for your ideas. Explain each point with one simple reason and one clear example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a careful way, like first, also, on the other hand, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Write a stronger end. Sum up both sides and restate your opinion in one full sentence.
task response
You discuss both views and you give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples, like the panda example, to support your point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • keep animals in zoos
  • animal rights
  • lose freedom
  • small cage
  • natural habitat
  • live in the wild
  • feel stress
  • poor health
  • depend on humans
  • for human entertainment
  • unfair treatment
  • protect endangered animals
  • breeding program
  • save rare species
  • public education
  • learn about nature
  • wildlife protection
  • support research
  • protect habitats
  • good animal care
  • conservation work
  • ecologically important
  • balanced view
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